10363: Why Dane Cook Is A Shitty Comedian.

Comedy is a funny thing, especially because of its inherent subjectivity. MultiCultClassics has never been a fan of Dane Cook or his alleged comedic skills, and usually sees no need to consider the moron at all. Yet the comic’s latest blunder warranted a post.

Cook recently appeared at the Laugh Factory and delivered a joke about the Aurora massacre, prompting empty-headed debates about the timing and inappropriateness of the gag. For more details—including an actual video clip of the performance—click here to view an article from the Huffington Post.

As expected, Cook quickly tweeted, “I am devastated by the recent tragedy in Colorado & did not mean to make light of what happened. I made a bad judgment call with my material last night & regret making a joke at such a sensitive time. My heart goes out to all of the families & friends of the victims.” The “apology” is a formulaic falsehood, clearly demonstrating why Cook does not deserve to be called a professional comedian. Hell, he may have even relinquished his right to be designated as a human being.

The tweet demands a brief dissection. First, it’s important to realize Twitter messages are technically going to one’s “followers” versus the general public—so exactly who was Cook apologizing to? If Cook were honestly “devastated” by the incident, he would not have conceived the joke. Professional comedians are well aware of “comedy killers”—subject matter that should never be touched. So Cook’s “bad judgment call” underscores his total lack of professionalism, as well as his deficit of intelligence. People like Cook do not “regret” these types of planned pratfalls—they live for the accompanying attention. For Cook to type, “My heart goes out to all of the families & friends of the victims,” insults everyone with its absolute absence of sincerity. Indeed, the joke showed Cook has no heart. And his online mea culpa indicates that the man is a bona fide coward.

Now, Cook’s defenders point to the fact that his audience ultimately laughed at the comments. Plus, the Huffington Post writer opined, “While some may feel that any jokes related to a tragedy are inappropriate, the clip could be seen as illustrating a fundamental tenet of comedy: that laughter leads to catharsis, and catharsis leads to healing.” No, what was illustrated was a snapshot of standard Dane Cook fans. That they paid money to see the jerk already speaks to the group’s collective IQ level. That they giggled at a horrendous tragedy completes the picture. Hey, if you willingly attend Ku Klux Klan rallies, it’s safe to label you a racist. If you gleefully attend Dane Cook performances, it’s safe to label you an insensitive cretin. These fans owe the rest of society an apology too.

When Michael Richards used the N-word, it essentially ended his career. Gilbert Gottfried tweeted tsunami jokes, and he was rightly shunned and fired from his longtime voiceover gig with Aflac. Cook’s comedic crimes are on par with—and arguably worse than—those of Richards and Gottfried. His “punishment” should be no less severe.