Essay Twenty-Two

Two more MultiCultClassics Minutes (that took about two minutes to write):

• You say burrito. I say burrato.

A recent newspaper article discusses the complexities of naming America’s largest minority. The two leading labels are Hispanic and Latino, accompanied by Cuban, Mexican, Chicano and more.

Is it possible to categorize people without creating controversies, contradictions and conflict?

Hispanic. Latino. Cuban. Mexican. Chicano. Latinos Americanos. Negro. Colored. Afro American. Black. African American. American Indian. Native American. Oriental (Yeah, there are still folks using this term!). Asian. Asian American. Handicapped. Disabled. Physically Challenged. Queer. Gay. Lesbian. Homosexual. Big-boned. Chubby. Full-figured. Obese. Thick. Fat. Midget. Dwarf. Little Person. Michael. Marlon. Jackie. Jermaine. Tito.

Maybe names — or even words — will never work. A numerical system or graphic icons might be better.

Just so long as it doesn’t involve text message symbols. ;(

• “They want me to die… in a hole,” White supremacist Matt Hale insists.

No argument here.

For the news-deprived, Hale was convicted of soliciting an undercover informant to execute U.S. District Judge Joan Lefkow. When Lefkow’s husband and mother were murdered in February, Hale was a prime suspect. As it turned out, the actual killer had no apparent ties to Hale. But who can say whether Hale indirectly influenced or inspired the homicides? Jailbirds of a feather…

Hale now faces a 40-year prison sentence, which will give him plenty of time to continue his law studies. Perhaps he’ll inevitably come to realize the justice system worked fine in his case.

(Then again, it seems a bit odd that OJ Simpson and Robert Blake literally got away with murder while Hale got sent off for poorly planning a homicide.)