Essay Eighty-Five

MultiCultClassics Minutes presents five more reasons to hate Mondays…

• The Michael Jackson trial will ultimately cost taxpayers at least $2.7 million. Damn, the alleged victim’s sleazy parent would have settled for a lot less. Next time, officials should consider pay-per-view to reduce citizens’ financial burdens.

• World Wrestling Entertainment took a body blow from raging viewers over an Arab-American character on its “Smackdown!” program. Hundreds of complaints poured in after an episode aired during the recent London terrorist bombings. The character, Muhammad Hassan, will no longer be featured on the show. Never thought wrestling fans could be so political.

• A Brazilian soap opera called “America” revolves around a woman who is living illegally in the U.S. Critics complain the popular drama encourages Brazilians to make the trek north by over-glamorizing the possibilities. If the network wants to counter the effects, just run The Jerry Springer Show.

• Folks are complaining about a T-shirt design from Urban Outfitters that reads, “New Mexico, Cleaner than Regular Mexico.” Yet there are probably fewer gripes about Memín Pinguín. Go figure.

• Demonstrators in New Mexico are protesting a civilian border patrol group called the Minuteman Civil Defense Corps. The volunteers’ goal is to ensure immigrants “fill out the paperwork and sign the guest book at the gate” — and the effort is slated to launch in October. The League of United Latin American Citizens marched to complain the organization is racist and un-American. Wonder if Minuteman members will pick up their uniforms at Urban Outfitters.