Essay Seventy-One

Breaking from convention with MultiCultClassics Minutes…

• Unilever’s Dove brand has been running a “real beauty” campaign showcasing women whose physiques defy the stereotypical supermodel. Now the brand is seeking to extend the concept through partnerships with Bath & Body Works and American Girl. Can’t wait to check out the flat-chested Addy and big-assed Molly dolls. (And let’s not forget flabby Marisol Luna, who fled her dangerous Hispanic ‘hood for the safety of the suburbs — see Essay Eighteen if you don’t get this last remark.)

• Two no-shows at this year’s NAACP national convention: Mexican President Vicente Fox and U.S. President George W. Bush. Both presidents were extended invitations, but declined. Bush has yet to acknowledge the organization’s existence. Fox probably sent Memin Pinguin to represent him. At this point, the NAACP would be lucky to snag Cy Sperling, President of The Hair Club For Men.

• Also revealed at the NAACP national convention: American corporations are not improving in the area of diversity. Most companies showed no difference from last year, indicating little effort is being made for change. Let’s hope the figures didn’t include advertising agencies, or the overall scores would have really sucked.

• Michael Jackson’s Victory Tour from his last courtroom drama may be short-lived. Now Jacko’s being sued by a firm that provided legal aid when dealing with the rights for the Beatles’ music. The firm is demanding a whopping $48 million. Jackson reportedly went pale upon hearing the news. No, wait — it was just another facial treatment.

• Gum creator Wrigley is introducing new Doublemint Twins. Lo and behold, the sisters are sistahs! Request to Wrigley: Please don’t depict the new Doublemint Twins double-dutching.