Essay 256

MultiCultClassics Minutes Asks, “What’s Law Got To Do With It?”

• DMX got Xtra time attached to his prison sentence. The rapper is already serving 70 days for driving with a suspended license. The additional sentence stems from another vehicle-related violation. Somebody get the brotha a chauffeur already.

• The money-laundering trial of Murder Inc. is underway, with a star-studded courtroom audience. “There’s nothing illegal about knowing a criminal, about socializing with a criminal, even doing business with a criminal, unless you commit a crime,” defense attorney Gerald Shargel said. “Irv and Chris Lorenzo committed no crime.” Hey, now there’s an argument sure to draw sympathy and support from the jury.

• A Wendy’s employee in New Hampshire was charged with stealing a safe from the restaurant. The employee’s name? Ronald MacDonald. Looks like he’ll be doing hard time with the Hamburglar, unless Mayor McCheese grants him clemency.

• Two men turned themselves in to authorities for the trashing of liquor stores in Oakland (See Essay 249). Police are seeking to arrest at least four other suspects. “In both incidents, the suspects entered the store and questioned why a Muslim-owned store would sell alcoholic beverages when it is against the Muslim religion,” police said. Not sure where vandalism and destruction of property fall in Muslim teachings.

• French Prime Minister Dominique de Villepin presented plans to tighten immigration laws. The measures included boosting the requirement to learn French. Great, then the rioting Muslim youth will be able to torch cars while screaming, “Fuck you, de Villepin!” in French.

• President George W. Bush said the U.S. must invest in more border patrol agents, high tech drones and other technology to stop illegal immigrants. Bush could also increase effectiveness by creating a requirement to learn French.