Essay 329

There’s no business like show business with the MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• The San Francisco cop who sparked controversy with an allegedly racist, sexist and homophobic video starring fellow officers has produced a sequel. However, the new film seeks to reverse the damages by presenting a documentary-style peek into the lives and jobs of the police in the original piece. Critics panned the second movie, questioning the true motives behind the effort. Hey, it might have worked if Bubba Smith had made a cameo appearance.

• Pat Robertson might believe Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez should be assassinated, but Harry Belafonte thinks Chavez is the bomb. Belafonte led a group including Danny Glover and Cornel West that met with Chavez on Saturday. “No matter what the greatest tyrant in the world, the greatest terrorist in the world, George W. Bush says, we’re here to tell you: Not hundreds, not thousands, but millions of the American people ... support [Chavez’s] revolution,” Belafonte proclaimed. The Bush administration would probably prefer dealing with Pat Robertson. And Pat Robertson will probably be calling for Belafonte’s execution.

• Michael Jackson continues to face lawsuits for assorted alleged crimes. One accuser claims Jackson molested him, forced him to undergo cosmetic surgery and even stole lyrics he wrote — when the victim was 2 years old. Meanwhile, a veterinarian who allegedly treated animals at the Neverland ranch is suing Jackson for nearly $92,000 in unpaid bills. Wonder if the services included treating LaToya. In the end, Jackson guarantees a few more profitable seasons for CourtTV.

• There’s a new sensation sweeping the airwaves in Ethiopia — Ethiopian Idols, a takeoff of the popular American Idol. The program lacks the glamour of the U.S. version, and contestants are vying for a much smaller prize. However, no one will be complaining when the Black contestants are eliminated.

• California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger and his son were injured while riding a motorcycle, with the governor receiving 15 stitches in his lip. No word if any T-1000 Terminators were involved.

• NYPD officers recently received special training for dealing with Muslims. The objective was to break down cultural cluelessness, helping cops to gain a better understanding of Islamic attitudes and traditions. For example, when interacting with most Muslims, you should always present the right hand to give or receive gifts. Unless the gift turns out to be a homemade bomb.