Essay 343

A Kool MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• An incarcerated felon in Indiana attempted to murder his new cellmate, but ultimately opted to enjoy some Kool-Aid instead. The man had stabbed and bashed the cellmate’s head, even attempting to break his neck. But then the lunatic suddenly stopped and asked for some refreshment. The beaten cellmate prepared and served the beverage before guards subdued the attacker. “There appears to be from accounts no rhyme nor reason why this happened,” a detective said. Perhaps it was the hypnotically soothing power of Kool-Aid.

• The Miami Herald reported that many immigrants who are granted citizenship wait for years to have the official application processed. Immigration experts say it usually takes 10 months to get things properly done. But a number of folks find themselves stewing for up to three years. Hey, welcome to the slow-moving governmental agencies of the United States.

• The Los Angeles Times reported states are taking matters into their own hands to deal with illegal immigration. In the past, states looked to the federal government for immigration matters. But as the issues grow along with the number of immigrants — and Congress remains unable to pass an immigration reform bill — it’s a whole new ballgame. From arresting illegal immigrants to penalizing day laborer centers to denying state benefits for undocumented workers, legislatures are passing laws like crazy. “What is new is the extent of immigration, some of it legal, some of it not, in new communities across the country,” said an official with the Mexican American Legal Defense and Educational Fund. “They don’t know how to deal with it so they freak out and pass laws.” Hey, welcome to the freaky United States. Maybe everyone should chill out with some Kool-Aid.