Essay 407

Talking crazy and saying nothing with a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• Busta Rhymes continues to play Busta Mime, refusing to offer information regarding the recent shooting (see Essay 395). The cops are getting serious, threatening to pursue an investigative grand jury to force Rhymes to rap. “We believe [Rhymes] was present at the scene, and we want to know everything he knows about this homicide,” Police Commissioner Ray Kelly said. “It is not that difficult to figure out someone who worked for you is murdered in front of you.” Yo, don’t look to Busta to make this bust.

• New Jersey’s Supreme Court deliberated over the issues of gay marriage yesterday. They’ll probably hear a Brokeback Mountain of arguments before it’s all over.

• A Maryland comptroller is turning out to be a troll, with women’s organizations protesting his words and actions. The 84-year-old official allegedly leered at an administrative aide’s backside during a crowded meeting and made an inappropriate remark. Upon hearing that he offended people, the comptroller replied, “That’s so goddamn dumb I can’t believe it… I look at one of the girls as she walked out. Big deal… I look at the girls every time they walk out. The day I don’t look at pretty girls, I die.” Well, let’s mark our calendars.

• Folks at Texas A&M University-Commerce are crying foul over the movie “Glory Road.” Racially-charged scenes in the movie never happened in real life, according to school officials. Of course, apologies are being demanded. “These events — specifically depicted as taking place at ETSU and in the Commerce area — are completely fabricated and go beyond the realms of literary license and decency,” protested a university official. Yeah, the actual events were probably much, much worse.

• Deborah Rowe, Michael Jackson’s ex-wife, saw an appeals court rule in her favor over the child custody case. The court decided her parental rights weren’t properly and legally relinquished. In 2001 Rowe apparently gave Jackson sole custody, giving up her parental rights. But the new ruling makes it a whole new ballgame. “No court has ever really figured out what would be best for [Rowe and Jackson’s children],” an expert said. That’s a monumental understatement, given that Wacko is watching the kids now.