Essay 428

Wardrobe malfunctions and other screw-ups in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• Federal regulators are standing firm in their decision to strip Janet Jackson of $500,000 for her “wardrobe malfunction” at the 2004 Super Bowl. You’d think Justin Timberlake would at least slip a C-Note into Janet’s garter for his role in the mess.

• Michael Jackson’s lawyer decided to strip away from the King of Pop. Tom Mesereau, who worked in Jackson’s child-sex trial last year, withdrew himself from two civil lawsuits currently facing the recording artist. An attorney for one person suing Jacko said, “[Jackson] doesn’t talk to his lawyers, he doesn’t cooperate with them and he doesn’t pay them… Other than that, he’s a fantastic client.” Plus, Jackson’s probably willing to baby-sit his lawyers’ kids.

• Two adult kids of the Ohio couple that allegedly kept their adopted children in cages testified against their parents. One daughter claimed the father touched her inappropriately. She said, “I was miserable… I felt like a prisoner.” Hey, being locked in a cage will do that to you.

• Sprint Nextel recorded a 55% drop in 4Q profits. Plus, the company announced plans to cut 2,400 staffers this year. Sprint’s current tagline is “Yes you can.” It should be preceded by, “Can I expect to get fired soon?”