Essay 479

A magically delicious MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• New York City Council Speaker Christine Quinn won’t be marching in the 245th annual St. Patrick’s Day Parade. The official, who is a lesbian, hoped to participate wearing symbols displaying gay pride. But the parade chairman squashed the plans and declared, “If an Israeli group wants to march in New York, do you allow neo-Nazis into their parade? If African-Americans are marching in Harlem, do they have to let the Ku Klux Klan into their parade?” Hey, aren’t you supposed to act like a loud, obnoxious drunk during and after the parade?

• Workers who participated in the immigration rally in Chicago last week (see Essay 464) were fired from their jobs, according to complaints received by two federal agencies. 28 employees of a suburban factory filed grievances, and there is speculation others were reprimanded or terminated too. “It sends a chilling message,” a workers’ rights expert said. “It’s one of the scariest things someone can say to you: ‘Agree with me, or I can take away your livelihood.’” Welcome to America.

• Starting in the fall, Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich will institute a ban on junk food in elementary and middle schools. It’s one of the scariest things a governor can say to you: ‘Agree with me, or I can take away your Twinkies.’

• Under a new initiative, Stanford University won’t charge tuition to undergraduates from some of the lowest-income families. “Many families … may be discouraged by the stated tuition, so we want to be more forceful with this new program in encouraging talented low-income students to consider Stanford,” a university official said. The average costs for an undergraduate at Stanford total about $47,000. Damn, even rich families may be discouraged by the stated tuition.