Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Essay 551
• Graffiti artists have traded in their cans of Krylon for something stronger. The taggers now use acid to create imagery that’s impossible to remove via traditional methods (acid graffiti pictured above). Talk about urban chemical warfare.
• Jay-Z’s road manager confessed to zapping R. Kelly with pepper spray at a concert two years ago. By pleading guilty, the manager will have to complete four days of community service. He should be forced to spend the time working for Salt-N-Pepa.
• Reports indicate Michael Jackson has discreetly reopened his Neverland Ranch with a skeleton crew. Skeleton crew? Is Jacko collecting more corpses to supplement the Elephant Man’s remains?
• California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger reported that his lieutenant governor and the mayor of Los Angeles have received death threats over the continuing immigration debates. A postcard mailed to the lieutenant governor read, “The only good Mexican is a dead Mexican.” Schwarzenegger will probably assign Terminator units to protect the officials.
• President Bush spoke out on immigration, declaring his disagreement with deportation. “Massive deportation of the people here is unrealistic,” Bush said. “It’s just not going to work. You can hear people out there hollering it’s going to work — it’s not going to work.” Bush then returned to his office and continued the efforts to banish folks from his White House staff.
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