Essay 613

Winners and losers in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• Lionel Richie (pictured above) is big in Iraq. Iraqis who can’t utter a word of English still belt out Richie’s tunes with reckless abandon. Why is the crooner so popular there? Richie believes the mystique is rooted in the core message of his work — Love. Hey, Iraq sounds like the perfect locale for Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie to stage The Simple Life.

• Even members of the National Guard are unsure about the decision to deploy troops to secure the U.S.-Mexican border. One soldier remarked, “It’s not the right thing to patrol the border, ‘cause that’s not what they’re for. … You’re taking people from high-stress areas; you’re putting them somewhere they don’t belong. People are going to be getting killed. It could be detrimental.” Or it could be a dream come true for The Minuteman Project.

• A new underground video game is sparking controversy because it’s based on the infamous Columbine shooting. “Super Columbine Massacre RPG” lets players assume the roles of real-life shooters Eric Harris (pictured below) and Dylan Klebold, attacking victims in the high school. The game’s creator claims it was made as an “indictment of our society at large,” and also because he’s a bullied kid who related to the actual killers. Regardless of his high score, the guy sounds like a total loser.


• Ray Nagin is a winner in New Orleans, retaining his mayoral title. “It’s time for us to stop the bickering,” he said. “It’s time for us to stop measuring things in black and white and yellow and Asian. It’s time for us to be one New Orleans.” He then thanked voters of The Chocolate City for their support.

• Barry Bonds matched Babe Ruth by belting his 714th homerun in Oakland (pictured below). Although for most fans, Bonds’ record will always feature a major-league asterisk.