Essay 978

Not-so-funny business in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• Forbes magazine sparked outrage by publishing an editorial titled, “Don’t Marry a Career Woman” — compelling men to avoid such unions or face disaster. The writer referenced studies that showed career women are more likely to cheat on their spouses and get divorced. “If they do have kids, they’re more likely to be unhappy about it. … The more successful she is, the more likely she is to grow dissatisfied with you,” wrote the editor. “The piece was intended to be part academic and part humorous,” said editor-in-chief Steve Forbes. “Instead, it profoundly offended hardworking career women everywhere. We deeply regret having done so.” Bet Forbes caught heat from his wife and five daughters.

• Foxy Brown is being accused of stealing two $400 belts from a boutique in Greenwich Village. The rap diva allegedly threw a fit upon learning the shop had not finished tailoring some lingerie, ultimately grabbing the belts and storming out. “Honestly, I never thought she would do anything like that,” said the boutique owner. “I was shocked. Who does she think she is?” Seems like the boutique owner got off easy, as Foxy has been known to become physically violent over bad manicures.

• Elton John wants to produce a hip-hop album. “I want to work with Pharrell, Timbaland, Snoop, Kanye, Eminem and just see what happens,” said John. “It may be a disaster, it could be fantastic, but you don’t know until you try. … I want to bring my songs and melodies to hip-hop beats.” Maybe he could belt out some music with Foxy Brown.