Essay 1081

Heading into conflicts with a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• A Connecticut man filed a $15,000+ lawsuit against a wig shop, claiming he suffered a heart attack after arguing over his poorly designed toupee. The man had refused to pay for the rug, insisting it didn’t fit and was the wrong color. The shop originally filed a small claims action to get $1,200 for the hairpiece. A telephone argument followed, ultimately leading to the heart attack. Somebody call Sy Sperling pronto.

• You know the Apocalypse is upon us when the pope inspires religious rage. Muslim leaders are demanding an apology for the pope’s remarks about Islam and jihad, although Vatican officials insist Pope Benedict XVI was just trying to make a point about the incompatibility between faith and war. A Turkish official remarked, “[The pope] is going down in history in the same category as leaders such as Hitler and Mussolini.” Grand Ayatollah Mohammed Hussein Fadlallah, Lebanon’s most senior Shiite cleric, said, “We do not accept the apology through Vatican channels … and ask [the pope] to offer a personal apology — not through his officials.” Calling out the pope should lead to quite a rap battle.