Essay 1129

Keeping abreast of old news with a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• Janet Jackson revealed she hasn’t spoken to Justin Timberlake since the 2004 Super Bowl “wardrobe malfunction” incident. “We haven’t spoken. But I consider him a friend, and I’m very loyal, and friendship is very important to me,” said Jackson. “He has reached out to speak with me.” And probably cop another feel. Plus, could someone tell Jackson that most of us stopped caring about this topic around two minutes into the 3rd quarter of the 2004 Super Bowl? Jackson also expressed surprise over all the hoopla. “So much more important things were going on in the world. And the focus was on my breast? That didn’t make any sense to me.” Jackson is currently baring her enhanced breasts on about a dozen magazine covers.

• A federal judge approved a class-action lawsuit charging Big Tobacco with allegedly lying to the public about “light” cigarettes for the past 30 years. A lawyer for Reynolds American Inc.’s R.J. Reynolds Tobacco division said, “We obviously disagree with the ruling — strongly.” Well, yeah, liars do tend to dispute being called liars.

• Senator George Allen continues to face accusations of racial insensitivity, as two former acquaintances said Allen used racial slurs in the 1970s and 1980s. According to the two folks, Allen regularly used the N-word. “I don’t remember ever using that word,” said Allen. “And it is absolutely false that that was ever part of my vocabulary.” This guy sounds like a lawyer for Big Tobacco.