Essay 1161

Ugly news in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• Nielsen Media Research rated ABC’s “Ugly Betty” as the most-watched new series. The program is an Americanized version of a hot Spanish-language telenovela. In response to the success of the program, next season’s CBS reality TV series “Survivor” will probably pit pretty folks against ugly ones.

• A City Councilman in Charleston, NC, declared that parents who can’t manage their kids should be sterilized. “We pick up stray animals and spay them,” said the councilman. “These mothers need to be spayed if they can’t take care of theirs. Once they have a child and it’s running the street, to let them continue to have children is totally unacceptable. … What we’ve got is a failure in society, whether it’s in Mount Pleasant with yuppie parents or whether it’s on the East Side with poor crackhead parents.” OK, let’s sterilize lousy parents. But only after first spaying lousy politicians.

• Now parents don’t have to worry about bad hair days for babies. California-based BabyToupee.com offers wigs for infants. The company’s co-founder said, “To see a baby with a little Rasta hat and dreadlocks is really funny.” Hey, it’s never too early to have your kids mocking other cultures.

• There’s an ugly legal battle brewing between the widow and kids of rapper Ol’ Dirty Bastard and his ex-girlfriend and five other children. The ex-wife is seeking to block the ex-girlfriend from receiving potential profits from the dead rapper’s soon-to-be-released new album. The ex-wife claimed, “Since my husband's death, my children and I have been virtually destitute…” Hey, that’s what you should expect when marrying a man called Ol’ Dirty Bastard.

• Sign of progress: The median income for Blacks in Queens, NY, exceeds that of Whites, with Blacks recording $51,836 versus $50,960 for Whites. Sign of reality: Across the river in Manhattan, the numbers read $86,494 for Whites versus $28,116 for Blacks.