Essay 1263

Black Sunday in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• Animal shelters nationwide have banned the adoption of Black cats during the Halloween season, fearing idiots will mistreat the animals in holiday pranks. However, critics argue the measure does more harm than good. A 2002 study published in the Journal of Applied Animal Welfare showed Black and Dark Brown cats were less likely to be adopted than White cats. “Black cats already suffer a stigma because of their color,” said an official at the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals shelter in New York City. “Why penalize them any more by limiting the times when they can be adopted?” Madonna will probably appear on Oprah’s show to argue her opinion on this topic.

• Bill Cosby took his road show to Los Angeles, serving as keynote speaker at a forum titled, “Education Is a Civil Right.” The entertainment icon blasted parents and teachers equally. “We’ve got parents who won’t check the bedrooms of their children to see if there’s a gun,” said Cosby. Teachers were spanked for not providing a good answer when students ask, “Why do I need this?” when considering the application of algebra and English to future jobs. “I’m not asking you to entertain the children,” Cosby preached. “If you teach English, and you can’t answer this child … then you’re in trouble, and we’ve been in trouble. We can’t answer these children, because nobody’s given them any goals.” Even churchgoers received criticism, as Cosby quipped too many folks rely on the belief, “The Lord will find a way. … So I’m just going to wait for Jesus to find a way.” He declared, “Too many people are waiting for Jesus to come along and cut your grass. And Jesus isn’t going to come along and cut your grass.” What would Jesus do — in response to Cosby’s rants? Additionally, there are probably quite a few Los Angeles landscapers named Jesus.

• An 18-year-old kid in New Jersey sparked controversy by mimicking myspace.com with a website titled, “NiggaSpace.com.” The creator goes by the name Tyrone, and insists the site title is not intended to be racist; rather, he hopes to change the connotation of the infamous word. The kid can probably expect an IM or email from Cosby soon.

• An ex-employee from Vons grocery chain received an $18 million jury award after winning a wrongful termination lawsuit that charged he was sexually harassed by his female supervisor. The former worker testified the supervisor made sexual remarks, and even simulated sex with a feather duster. Vons plans to appeal. Or maybe offset the damage award by staging a special promotion on feather dusters.