Essay 1266

Monkey business in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• A fan who allegedly called NBA star Dikembe Mutombo a “monkey” has been banned for the season by the NBA and Orlando Magic. And no, it wasn’t Senator George Allen (see Essay 938).

• Goodyear is not having a good year, announcing plans to shut down a Texas plant and cut about 1,100 jobs. “We must take the steps necessary to reduce our costs and improve our competitive position,” said a company official in a statement. “While this is an extremely difficult decision for everyone involved, it was required to help turn around our North American business.” In the tire business, when sales go flat, you have to reinvent the wheel.

• Oprah Winfrey gave about 300 audience members $1,000 debit cards to use toward charitable causes. Bank of America, an institution that last year admitted to having ties to slavery, sponsored the giveaway. “You’re going to open your hearts, you’re going to be really creative, and you’re going to spend it all at once on one stranger or spend a dollar on every person,” said Oprah. “Imagine the love and kindness you can spread with $1,000.” Um, Oprah probably drops a grand just to get a pedicure. For one foot.