Essay 1268

Tricks and Treats in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• A Salem woman has been fighting for witches’ civil rights. The efforts include opening the door to defamation lawsuits when posters depicting witches as broomstick-riding old hags are hung on government property. “If they don’t protect us and take care of us like everyone else, then they could be sued,” warned the witch. Or worse, have a nasty spell cast upon them.

• KFC’s announcement of eliminating trans fats in its food has Mickey D’s scared. Especially since Burger King and Wendy’s have also presented plans to change their menu items. However, officials at the Golden Arches insist they’re still struggling to find solutions that won’t jeopardize taste quality. Not sure when taste quality became a concern at Mickey D’s.

• There were more tricks than treats along the U.S.-Mexican border, as immigration officials booted a record 187,000 illegal aliens from the country in 2005 — including deporting 3,700 violent gang members over the last two years. “That’s more than 3,700 gang-bangers off the streets and not preying on members of communities,” declared Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff. Yeah, but you still can’t eject trans fats from Mickey D’s menu.