Essay 1311

Food for thought with a side of MultiCultClassics Monlogue…

• A burrito is not a sandwich, according to a judge in Massachusetts. A Panera Bread restaurant sought to prevent a Mexican restaurant from opening in the same mall, citing a clause in its lease that prohibits another sandwich joint from renting space in the shopping center. But the judge declared that a single tortilla does not equal two slices of bread. Somebody call the ACLU pronto.

• Madonna’s father is launching limited-edition wine under the Material Girl’s name. The label will feature images from Madonna’s recent tour and CD, and Madonna and daddy will sign and number the bottles. The wine will retail for $39.99. Wonder if Catholic churches will consider using it for communion services.

• Rapper Juvenile beat the rap in a lawsuit filed against him by a cop who charged she was injured while scuffling with the artist and his crew in a Florida shopping mall in 1999. “We got them, we got them, we got them,” said Juvenile. “Just the fact that it’s a rap artist against the police, that never happens. Rappers never win. We never win against the police or the government.” Talk about a juvenile response.