Essay 1335

Sifting through celebrity garbage in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• O.J. Simpson wept during his TV interview, where he presents the “hypothetical” details of the infamous slayings. “I don’t think two people could be murdered without everyone being covered in blood,” opined Simpson. CBS ought to consider launching CSI: OJ.

• The New York Post reported Naomi Campbell faces a potential community service sentence including collecting trash. But Campbell’s lawyer questioned the move. “I think it’s dangerous, in all candor, to put a female of her celebrity in a public place, surrounded by hundreds of photographers. I have to assume that there are going to be people who say, ‘Let’s shoot her; let’s stab her; let’s mug her,” said the lawyer. Given the supermodel’s reputation, it’s safe to assume most people would be afraid to attack her.

• Sacha Baron Cohen expressed surprise that his movie has stirred outrage with certain groups. “The joke is not on Kazakhstan,” said the Borat creator. “I think the joke is on people who can believe that the Kazakhstan that I describe can exist — who believe that there’s a country where homosexuals wear blue hats and the women live in cages. … Part of the movie shows the absurdity of holding any form of racial prejudice, whether it’s hatred of African-Americans or of Jews.” Have you heard the one about the Jew comedian who thought he was making insightful social commentary with a film whose most memorable moment involves an obscene fight between two naked men?