Essay 1407

Hollywood Hump Day with a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• Scary Spice may have Eddie Murphy running scared. The former Spice Girl and Murphy were dating earlier this year, and now she’s pregnant. When probed by an interviewer, Murphy snapped, “Now you’re being presumptuous because we’re not together anymore. … And I don’t know whose child that is until it comes out and has a blood test. You shouldn’t jump to conclusions, sir.” Wonder if the Nutty Professor will administer that blood test himself.

• Michael Richards inspired comedian Paul Mooney to stop using the N-word. But the former Kramer may have inspired comedian Andy Dick to be, well, a dick. TMZ reported Dick was onstage at L.A.’s Improv comedy club last weekend, freestyling with another performer, when he grabbed the mic and hollered at the audience, “You’re all a bunch of n------!” The crowd went silent and Dick went limp.

• Madison Square Garden Chairman James Dolan argues the probing of Isiah Thomas’ alleged harassment of a former female employee is bad, and he questions the “adequacy and fairness of the investigation conducted.” The accusations against Thomas included calling the woman a “bitch” and “ho.” Hey, Thomas probably uses the same words when addressing the Knicks starters.

• 60 Minutes’ Andy Rooney is taking offense to essays appearing on the Internet falsely attributed to him. The latest written rant features racist remarks including, “I have the right not to be tolerant of others because they are different, weird or tick me off.” Rooney whined, “I suppose it’s not important, but I hate the fact that people think I’ve been writing these things. … That’s hurtful to me.” Can’t imagine why folks would believe Rooney could write something nasty.

• Wal-Mart booted its head of advertising and vice president of marketing. Julie Roehm, who recently handed the $580 million advertising account to Draft FCB is gone after less than a year on the job. Let’s see if the revamped agency manages to last longer than Roehm.

• A study by Rand Corp. showed Asian immigrants tend to be more healthier than Latino immigrants, particularly as the generations succeed. After two generations, Asians develop better diet and exercise routines, versus problems with obesity and diabetes among Latinos. “We know that Latinos are much more likely to be uninsured than other groups,” said a health official. “There is the possibility that they’re not hearing the health messages because they don’t have access to a regular source of healthcare.” Imagine that. Certain minority groups may not have proper access to healthcare.

• A federal appeals court panel in San Francisco decided the Kamehameha Schools in Hawaii may limit student enrollment to Native Hawaiians. A lawsuit had challenged the schools’ policies. The judge wrote, “The schools are a wholly private K-12 educational establishment, whose preferential admissions policy is meant to counteract the significant, current educational deficits of Native Hawaiian children in Hawaii,” A lawyer for the schools said, “All of the judges agreed that the Kamehameha School has a noble mission and has had extraordinary success in addressing what all the judges admitted are the continuing disadvantages suffered by Native Hawaiians.” Imagine that. A preferential admissions policy that works.