Critters Gone Wild in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…
• The University of Illinois’ Chief Illiniwek mascot will perform for the final time today. However, the school is still wondering what to do with the trademarked logo (pictured above). The NCAA mandates prohibit associating the imagery with athletic programs, but there are no rules against having the school own the trademark. Look for the Chief and his logo to start showing up at student parties.
• A judge ordered O.J. Simpson to turn over income from past TV projects, movies and commercials to Ron Goldman’s family in order to pay off the wrongful death lawsuit conviction. However, the judge rejected the family’s attempt to also collect future earnings. So O.J.’s free to pursue new gigs — like serving as the University of Illinois’ new mascot.
• Busta Rhymes was offered a plea deal to stay out of jail for allegedly beating up two people. The deal would call for three years’ probation, six months of anger management therapy and three weeks of community service. The rapper and his lawyer, who both vehemently deny the charges, are considering the offer. The deal should include protection for the anger management therapist.
• Checkers Drive-In Restaurants is taking heat for a promotion persuading customers to dress their cats in a special take-out bag. The “Rapcat” bags are designed to look like the jersey and gold chain worn by a hip-hop puppet featured in commercials (pictured below). “We have no ill will toward Checkers or Rapcat as a character,” said an animal services spokeswoman. “Our message is that it is not a good idea to try to stuff a cat in a bag. It’s a matter of common sense.” Checkers’ senior vice president of marketing responded by saying, “When our Rapcat commercials began airing last fall, they were an overnight success. … We received dozens of letters from our guests requesting Rapcat merchandise. Our new Rapcat website, cups and carry out bags are all in response to Rapcat’s popularity and are intended only as a creative extension of our television campaign.” This VP cat sounds like a moron.
[Click on the essay title above to view a Rapcat commercial.]
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