Essay 1781

Royal silliness in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• Prince Charles became a royal pain in the ass for Mickey D’s when he declared the fast feeder should be banned. While visiting the Imperial College London Diabetes Center in Abu Dhabi to hype a public health campaign, he said, “Have you got anywhere with McDonald’s? Have you tried getting it banned? That’s the key.” A McDonald’s spokesman responded, “This appears to be an off-the-cuff remark, in our opinion. … It does not reflect our menu or where we are as a business.” The spokesman then probably snickered, “Besides, have you seen the guy’s wife — that says a lot about his tastes.” No word yet from the King at Burger King.

• Eddie Murphy may have stormed out of the Academy Awards show, but P. Diddy allegedly showed greater emotion. The artist allegedly punched some dude in the face at an after-party. According to the punchee, Diddy was hitting on the man’s girlfriend. When the guy stepped in, Diddy hit on him with a punch to the jaw. The man claims to have been severely injured — which means he’ll be putting on an Oscar-worthy performance for financial damages.

• The biracial daughter of the late Sen. Strom Thurmond believes Rev. Al Sharpton overreacted upon learning his ancestors were slaves owned by Strom’s relatives. The woman said, “In spite of the fact [Thurmond] was a segregationist, he did many wonderful things for Black people. … I’m not sure that Rev. Sharpton is aware of all the things he did.” Hey, maybe Sharpton’s eligible for inheritance loot.

• New studies by California researchers counter the beliefs that immigrants increase crime and job competition. The figures showed immigrants are jailed far less than native-born folks; plus, immigrants actually help to boost citizens’ wages. “The big message is that there is no big loss from immigration,” said one researcher. “There are gains, and these are enjoyed by a much bigger share of the population than is commonly believed.” Another researcher remarked, “There are grossly distorted perceptions between what people think about immigrants and the reality. … The old bromide that education is the way to reduce prejudice comes into play here.”