Thursday, May 17, 2007

Essay 3039


The MultiCultClassics Monologue of today…

• Singer R. Kelly likened himself to great figures in history during an interview with Hip-Hop Soul magazine. “I’m the Ali of today. I’m the Marvin Gaye of today. I’m the Bob Marley of today. I’m the Martin Luther King, or all the other greats that have come before us. And a lot of people are starting to realize that now,” proclaimed the accused child pornographer. “So I have to walk with a certain humility. I have to walk with love in my heart for those that hate me. I have to. I have to get out and touch people in order for me to continue to feel the pulse of the world.” Just don’t touch another minor, dude.

• Ike Turner was arrested then released when the cops realized they had made a mistake by busting the singer for an invalid warrant. He’s the Ike Turner of today.

• Sears Chairman Edward Lampert now predicts the retailer will stage a turnaround, but it will take three years. Guess consumers can continue to shop at Wal-Mart and Target until the Sears revival happens. Sears is, um, the Sears of today.

• The Census Bureau reported minorities in America surged beyond the 100 million mark, now accounting for one-third of the country’s population. “Immigration is making a much bigger contribution than natural increase,” said one expert. “As well, the fertility rates of the immigrants are higher than the fertility rates of the native-born groups.” Sounds like Sears has a potential growing customer target.

3 comments:

  1. Kels should be comparing himself to Ronald Reagan because he's teflon--these girls will be in their 30s befoer ehtis stuff goes to trial.

    The again, R's a bullet away from being the black Phil Spector. two wackos in dire need of help.

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  2. "So I have to walk with a certain humility."

    Uh....yeah.

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  3. rkelly is delusional. to even think he is in the same league as the icons he mentioned is preposterous. gimme a break!

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