Essay 3074

Legal beefs in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• Carl’s Jr. and Hardee’s are suing Jack In The Box, charging the fast feeder with running misleading advertising. Carl’s Jr. and Hardee’s claim new commercials imply their Angus burgers are made from cow anus. “They’re not being funny,” said the chief executive of Carl’s Jr. and Hardee’s. “They need to stop misleading people about what Angus beef is.” This guy needs to get his head out of his anus.

• Fired Wal-Mart marketing executive Julie Roehm continues her desperate legal battles with her former boss, now charging the retailer’s CEO with breaking the corporate ethics policy. Wal-Mart fired Roehm for reasons including having an affair with co-worker Sean Womack—a no-no in the company policies guidebook. But Roehm claimed the CEO accepted trips and deals on yachts and jewelry from vendors. The “boss-broke-the-rules-too” excuse seems like a desperate legal tactic. In the end, it looks like Roehm is going from Womack blower to whistle blower.

• Rapper MIMS was a no-show at an event in Chelsea, prompting the promoter to file a $7.5 million civil-rights suit claiming the artist blew off the gig because she’s a woman. The promoter charges MIMS didn’t arrive “because of his discriminatory attitude” toward women, and he “has promoted and traded upon a pattern of conduct involving the belittlement and degradation of females as ‘bitches’ and ‘hoes.’” The woman must be using the same legal counsel as Julie Roehm.

• A New York high school student was charged with a hate crime for removing a Sikh student’s turban and cutting his hair. The two students had been arguing when the accused kid dragged his victim into the bathroom and forcibly performed the haircut. '”The defendant is not accused of some schoolhouse prank, but an attack on the fundamental beliefs of his victim’s religion and his freedom to worship freely,” said Queens District Attorney Richard A. Brown. What happened to the good old days when students only gave wedgies and dunked heads into toilets?