Essay 4051

Not wearing pants with a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• It’s been a busy week in the case of the judge suing a dry cleaners for $54 million over a misplaced pair of pants (see Essay 4014). On Tuesday, the judge testified and left the courthouse in tears. On Wednesday, the business owners took the stand, with the wife ultimately breaking down. “Economically, emotionally, and health-wise as well, it’s been extremely hard for us,” said the woman. “[The judge] would just come into the store as he pleased, taking pictures as we were running the business.” The judge claims that if he wins, he’ll only pocket $2.5 million, using the rest to help victims in similar situations. Never realized there were other pitiful souls seeking millions for disappearing pants.

• The Delcambre Town Council in Louisiana wishes certain pants would disappear. The area legislators are poised to enact a law prohibiting people from wearing saggy pants. The law states, “It shall be unlawful for any person in any public place or in view of the public to be found in a state of nudity, or partial nudity, or in dress not becoming to his or her sex, or in any indecent exposure of his or her person or undergarments, or be guilty of any indecent or lewd behavior.” Critics charge that Blacks are being targeted, but the mayor insisted, “White people wear sagging pants, too. Anybody who wears these pants should be held responsible.” Violators could face up to six months in jail and a hefty fine. Hopefully, it will be less than $54 million.