essay 4470

A daily recommended allowance of O.J. in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• O.J. Simpson was arrested on Sunday (see Essay 4467), slapped with multiple felony charges that could result in a prison sentence of up to 35 years for each count. The arrest stems from an armed robbery that took place in Las Vegas. Simpson is probably innocent in this case, as everyone knows his weapon of choice is a knife, not a gun.

• Of course, Fred Goldman could not refrain from commenting. “How wonderful,” declared Goldman on CBS’s “The Early Show” today. “A lot of years too late, however. I would have much preferred him found guilty of Ron and Nicole’s death and then put either to death or in jail then. But frankly to see him ultimately or potentially go to jail—that’s great.” Look for a second printing of “If I Did It” to feature an additional chapter.

• A number of cities are drafting legal proposals to ban low-slung, saggy pants. In Delcambre, Louisiana, the style can lead to a $500 fine and land you in jail for six months. Fortunately for O.J. Simpson, his trousers tend to fit properly. If the Dockers® fit, you must acquit.