Essay 4525

Legal briefs and other dirty laundry in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• The New York Post reported the jury in the sexual harassment case involving New York Knicks president and coach Isiah Thomas may be leaning in favor of the plaintiff. The jury apparently sent a note to the judge asking for instructions “if the elements of the claim have been met.” Thomas is probably muttering, “Son of a bitch!”

• R. Kelly’s lawyers are attempting to keep an expert witness from testifying at the someday-to-be-held child pornography case. The witness, a developmental and forensic pediatrician, is slated to give expert opinion on the age of the girl in the infamous video based on behavioral cues. Additionally, the witness will note similarities between the vein patterns in the hands of the man in the video and those of R. Kelly. If the veins don’t fit, you must acquit.

• A jailed inmate who accused a former Los Angeles cop of being involved in the murder of rapper Notorious B.I.G. now says he lied about it, claiming his statements were part of a deal to receive a portion of any settlement from the city. In reference to his accusations, the inmate said, “It was a lie, and I’m ashamed of it.” Plus, he’ll probably receive more money by appearing on CourtTV to comment on his lies.

• Senator Larry Craig wound up being indirectly responsible for redesigning the toilet stalls at the Minneapolis Airport. Airport officials announced the walls between stalls will be lowered to prevent future incidents like the one Craig initiated… um, experienced. Guess we can add it to the senator’s political legacy.