Essay 4599

It’s like, you know, a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• A co-defendant in the latest O.J. Simpson case told police that Simpson instructed his partners to bring guns to the confrontation with sports memorabilia dealers. “O.J. said ‘Hey, just bring some firearms,’” said the co-defendant. “He said … ‘we won’t have to use ‘em, but … just to look tough, you know, so that these people know that, you know, we’re here for business.’” If true, you know, O.J. is, you know, in a shitload, you know, of trouble.

• Barack Obama confirmed that he and Dick Cheney are cousins, and the presidential candidate joked about it during an appearance on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. “Yeah. How about that? Yeah. Not kissing cousins…I actually did know. People have been doing these genealogical studies of me, and I’ve got all kinds of rogues in my background, you know. You’re always hoping for, you know, kings and great leaders,” quipped Obama. “The truth is I am OK with it. You know, now I don’t want to be invited to the family hunting party.”

• Isiah Thomas’ lawyers are arguing for an appeal and reduced damages in the scandalous sexual harassment case, showing that Thomas spent less than three hours with Anucha Brown Sanders over the two years they worked together. The lawyers partly insist the short time together would not allow Thomas to create “severe or pervasive” sexual harassment or “establish an unlawful hostile work environment.” Not too sure about that. After all, Thomas was always highly skilled at the fast break and uptempo performances.