5291: Getting Fitted For Orange Jumpsuits.

Heading for the big house in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• Remy Ma burst into tears upon being convicted of shooting a pal in the stomach. “Oh, my God! My son! My son!” hollered the rapper, who now faces up to 25 years in jail. A supporter in the courtroom had to be ejected after shouting, “Fuck y’all!” He later remarked, “I don’t like that judge. … She should die slow.” Sounds like the perfect character witness to appear during sentencing.

• No tears from T.I. The rapper pleaded guilty to illegal weapons charges stemming from an incident involving his bodyguard buying three machine guns and silencers. T.I. is looking at up to a year in prison. Which could make for an awesome concert in conjunction with Remy Ma.

• Supporters are soliciting donations for embattled Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick. “Just because people accuse you of things and charge you with things doesn’t mean you’re guilty,” said a fundraiser. “It’s a bad economy; people don’t have money. But he’s a native son, and we need to do everything we can to keep him from going down.” It’s a bad economy? Well, maybe the mayor should have spent more time balancing the budget versus texting with his Fave 5.