5571: In Da House And Courthouse.

Hot news in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• 50 Cent can’t sell his fire-ravaged Long Island home until the lawsuit filed by his ex-girlfriend is resolved, thanks to a judge’s ruling. The judge also told Fiddy’s ex to cough up $4,500 in rent that is owed to the rapper. The ex-girlfriend is seeking half of the artist’s earnings, insisting she’s partly responsible for his success. She declared, “I helped build him.” Hope she knows how to build a new house.

• 50 Cent has been bonding with actor Val Kilmer during the production of their movie, Streets of Blood. Both men are fond of vintage cars, and Fiddy surprised Kilmer with the keys to a 1965 Chevy Impala worth $130,000. No word if it included a burned-out garage.

• Now R. Kelly’s lawyers are not merely arguing their client is not the person in the infamous videotape, but the infamous videotape is not the infamous videotape. They’ve apparently been working with a copy of the tape that prosecutors claimed to be a duplicate, but actually turned out to be a lower-quality reproduction. The recording artist’s lawyers used the inferior copy when questioning their video expert. The judge angrily snapped, “This is the rotten tomato in the barrel.” R. Kelly denies being in the original tape, the duplicate tape or in a barrel of tomatoes.