6125: Assorted Losers.

TGIF with a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• Former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer won’t face any legal problems for his escapades with prostitutes. A federal probe revealed Spitzer did not use public or campaign money for his call girls, so he won’t be charged. However, hookers will continue to charge him big time.

• The head honcho of the new Delta-Northwest Airlines recently declared customers could expect business as usual after the merger. Now the airline announced a fresh $15 fee to check one bag. Yep, business as usual.

• Wendy’s reported a 3Q profits loss, attributing the drop to its takeover by the owner of Arby’s. Regardless, the results are waaaaay worse than fast food rivals’ profits.

• Fidelity announced intentions to cut 1,300 jobs. Wonder if the employees know how to rollover their 401(k) plans.

• Anheuser-Busch reported a 3Q profit loss, attributing the drop to its pending sale to InBev. It’s also probably related to constantly running those annoyingly shitty “Drinkability” commercials.