6359: The Obama Stimulus Plan: Dolls And ‘Do’s.

Dolled up in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• The Obama Family might wind up stimulating the entire economy all on their own. Ty Incorporated, maker of the iconic Beanie Babies, is releasing “Sweet Sasha” and “Marvelous Malia”—dolls fashioned after the Obama sisters. But the company will probably outsource production to sweatshops abroad.

• The First Lady’s hairdresser, Johnny Wright, signed a deal for his own reality TV series. What? No program in the works for Michelle Obama’s manicurist?

• Dick Parsons has been named chairman of Citigroup. First Barack Obama assumes the Office of the President. Now Parsons grabs the reins at Citigroup. OMG, Blacks are taking over the world!

• Southwest Airlines reported 4Q losses, its second losing quarter after 16 years of profitability. That “ding” you hear is not the sound of a ringing cash register.

• OfficeMax hired a former Circuit City executive as its CFO. Um, is OfficeMax looking for some help on the bankruptcy tip too?

• A new study shows cleaner air can increase your lifespan by 5 months. However, the economy will make it 5 months of living hell.