6591: T.G.I.F. & T.I.

In the Black with a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• Brazilian President Luiz Inacio blasted “white people with blue eyes” for the economic woes in the world. Aiming his barbs at the European Union and the U.S., Inacio declared, “This crisis was caused by the irrational behavior of white people with blue eyes, who thought they knew everything and now show they know nothing.” When asked to elaborate, he replied, “I only record what I see in the press. I am not acquainted with a single Black banker.” Can’t even come up with a joke for this one, folks.

• Sears and Kmart are updating their websites to create more user-friendly experiences, allowing visitors to easily view items from both stores without clicking back and forth. For an even better experience, customers are encouraged to click Walmart.com.

• Charter Communications, the nation’s fourth-largest cable company, filed for bankruptcy. Customers are encouraged to click Comcast.com.

• T.I. was sentenced to a year and a day in prison for trying to buy machine guns and silencers. Machine guns and silencers make a weird combination. And the sentence seems light. After all, Foxy Brown got a similar sentence for attacking someone with a cell phone—without a silencer.