6875: Empirically Shown To Be Liars.

Advertising Age allowed two wonks from McCann Erickson New York—Leslie Long and Chris Cutone—to blather about their cutting-edge hiring practices. The column reads like the agency lawyers served as editors. The dim-witted duo admits that the shop is most actively seeking individuals offering immediate payoff. Which probably means you must have ties to a major account. Or you’re a cheap interactive developer with Flash skills.

Why, there’s even diversity-related gobbledygook:

We are also working on our diversity and inclusion efforts across every agency discipline and at every level of employment. Following the philosophy of Lori Senecal, president of our office, we believe we should be an innovator and leader in diversity, not only for the social good but also because diversity empirically has been shown to increase creativity.

Of course, they’re not sharing their innovative leadership schemes. And how can they declare that “diversity empirically has been shown to increase creativity” when the industry—and McCann Erickson New York—has no way to prove it, given the abject lack of diversity? Brilliant, ladies. Now would you please go back to your cubicles and focus on reducing employee health insurance benefits and eliminating employer 401(k) contributions?