7220: Making The Cuts.

Cutting through the news in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• Johnson & Johnson announced a restructuring plan that will cut about 8,000 jobs by 2011. They’ll need a lot of Band-Aid© Brand Adhesive Bandages to handle that many cuts.

• The Louisiana Justice of the Peace who recently refused to marry an interracial couple has resigned. His single-sentence resignation letter read, “I do hereby resign the office of Justice of the Peace for the Eighth Ward of Tangipahoa Parish, Louisiana, effective November 3, 2009.” That’s pretty clear in black and white.

• The U.S. Army reported that 70 percent of American military-age youth are unqualified to enlist because they’re overweight. One official remarked, “We’ve never had this problem of young people being obese like we have today.” However, the rejected recruits are eligible to serve at Mickey D’s.