8154: Fun With Animals.

Smoking guns in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• Camel cigarettes seems to be ignoring the latest FDA label proposals by introducing hip designs for its packages. The new designs depict imagery intended to resonate with hipsters in Williamsburg. The FDA will probably force the integration of pictures from the Williamsburg morgue.

• An Australian rugby star turned in his resignation after photos of him engaged in a sex act with a dog appeared on the Web. “I accept total responsibility for what happened,” said the player. “It was a moment of madness, and while it was totally out of character, I have to cop the consequences. I’m disappointed that the photo was distributed, but I should never have put myself in that situation. It’s something I will have to live with for the rest of my life.” Michael Vick is probably thinking, “And they put my ass in jail?”

• The latest study from the American Psychological Association shows 75 percent of the American population suffer from unhealthy levels of stress. Americans are encouraged to ignore tips for relieving stress offered by Australian rugby stars.