8254: Fast Food On A Slow News Day.

Deep-fried news in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• Brown’s Chicken is out of bankruptcy and airing a commercial starring Steve Carell—that was originally shot in 1989 when the actor was relatively unknown. Guess Brown’s Chicken is in creative bankruptcy.

• Mickey D’s will be selling oatmeal in 14,000 restaurants nationwide by the end of the week. The fast feeder is jumping on the bandwagon already being driven by places like Starbucks. Maybe Mickey D’s will present an original twist by introducing McRib-flavored oatmeal.

• Glenn Beck sparked controversy last week by declaring 10 percent of Muslims are terrorists. It’s safe to say that at least 10 percent of Beck’s brain is oatmeal.

• A new survey found that over 50 percent of Americans have put off getting some kind of health care because of cost. And at least 10 percent of Americans believe buying oatmeal at Mickey D’s constitutes health care.

• President Obama signed the Healthy, Hungry-Free Kids Act into law on Monday. The law will increase the number of fruits and vegetables on America’s public schools lunch menus. Wouldn’t it be more effective to legislate the food on Mickey D’s lunch menu?