8688: Shut Down. Shut Out. Shut Up.

Shutting down with a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• A new poll shows 46 percent of Republicans in Mississippi want to ban interracial marriage. The same people also probably want to legalize marriage to farm animals, receive tax breaks for inbreeding and don’t know how to spell Mississippi.

• A government shutdown would have increased adverse effects on Native Americans, as the federal government’s presence on reservations is critical to things like law enforcement, social services and schools. All of the elected officials in the House and Senate should be shipped to reservations until they’re able to get their acts together.

• “Girls Gone Wild” founder Joe Francis won a civil court case that charged he had taken advantage of four women who appeared in his videos—and the case was decided by an all-women jury. The celebration party will probably result in a new video: “Jurors Gone Wild.”

• A new poll shows 27 percent of workers are “not at all confident” they will have enough money to retire comfortably. Wonder how many workers are not at all confident they will even have enough money to get through the month.