9266: Award-Winning News Items.

A Monday Morning MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• Eddie Murphy is reportedly in negotiations to host the next Academy Awards show. However, if Alan Arkin is asked to present anything, look for Murphy to exit the theater pronto.

• The negative reaction to Chaz Bono as a contestant for the upcoming season of Dancing With the Stars is growing uglier. Sources speculate some of the nastiness may be coming from Bible Belt viewers being riled up by criticisms of Bono in sermons delivered by angry preachers. You’d think churchgoers would be more concerned that their preachers are actually commenting about Dancing With the Stars.

• GOP presidential wannabe Rep. Michele Bachmann flip-flopped on her commentary regarding an earthquake and hurricane signaling a warning from God, transitioning from saying it was a “joke” to a “metaphor.” Bachmann explained, “Obviously, I was speaking metaphorically. That was clear to the audience. It was clear to me.” It’s also clear to most audiences that Bachmann’s candidacy is a joke, metaphorically speaking. Or is it a simile? Whatever. Look for Bachmann to be nominated in 2012 for Dancing With the Stars.