15693: Why All Recruitment Firms Are Outdated Outhouses.

 

Adweek published a pile of bullshit titled, “Why You Can No Longer Take 3 Months to Make Hiring Decisions”—with a subhead that reads, “Companies that continue to follow dated hiring timelines are finding themselves in a hamster wheel.”

 

What makes it a pile of bullshit?

 

For starters, the author is CEO of a second-rate “data-driven platform for marketing staff augmentation and services”—meaning the piece is self-promotional fluff from a Monster.com wannabe. It’s no surprise that a recruiter does not want to wait three months—or even three hours—to collect a commission fee. (Those commission fees, incidentally, dramatically impact the final salaries and rates of worker drones. Plus, such charges are a turn-off to employers who prefer to avoid the middleman, even if the middleman is an online platform.)

 

Second, most places can no longer take months to make hiring decisions because everyone is desperately seeking instant help for projects already behind deadlines. So, job descriptions have become ultra-defined based on the projects’ specs—which are rarely included in the ambiguous briefs that new workers or freelancers receive.

 

Third, it’s no longer necessary to take months to make hiring decisions because—thanks to the commoditization of talent created by the White holding companies—almost all candidates are generic, round pegs getting hammered into remote, square holes.

 

Fourth, given today’s true employment climate, the field is flooded with a wide range of desperate candidates gladly accepting any amount of cash for a stint—and the lowest bidder usually gets the gig. Although they still collect more than crumbs.

 

Fifth, the workers are the ones finding themselves in a hamster wheel, as the average workplace is a rolling rodent trap.

 

Sixth, as DE&I has never been programmed into the typical recruiter’s placement algorithms, the final result is a perpetuation of exclusivity and systemic racism that has nothing to do with dated hiring timelines, but rather, with dated hiring practices—starting with the outdated use of recruiters in any way, shape or platform.

 

Seventh, the only person benefiting from the pile-o-shit perspective is the illustrator responsible for the royalty-free stock image (depicted above) embellishing the ca-ca, er, content. There’s always a market for pretty pictures to polish text turds.