Essay 568

Pitiful Fools in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• It was almost inevitable. Mr. T has signed on to star in a new TV series. “I Pity The Fool” will show Mr. T as a “motivational guru,” offering advice to folks with personal problems. Pity the audience.

• The Minuteman Project is rolling out a nationwide caravan to spread their perspectives regarding immigration. One initiative has the group directing messages toward Blacks. “[Blacks] are the most harmed by illegal immigration, and it’s time that we focused our efforts in our inner cities where help is needed most,” said Minuteman Project founder Jim Gilchrist. Hey, maybe Gilchrist will hook up with Mr. T.

• Former President Bill Clinton announced a new deal whereby soft drink manufacturers will stop selling non-diet sodas at schools. “This is a truly bold step forward in the struggle to help 35 million young people lead healthier lives,” said Clinton. “This one policy can add years and years and years to the lives of a very large number of young people.” CEO of PepsiCo for North America Dawn Hudson remarked, “This is about where we sell our products, not about the products themselves. … We believe that all our products have a place in a well-balanced diet and proper, active lifestyle.” Wonder what she’s been drinking.

• New York hip-hop radio station Hot 97 may soon be evicted from its headquarters. The building’s landlord is suing to banish their tenant, citing the radio station has seen three shootings, two fake bomb threats and 53 “different acts of violence at our building.” Maybe the place should change its name to Shot 97.

• The North American CEO of Toyota is facing a $190 million sex-harassment suit. The old man’s ex-personal assistant accused the CEO of groping her and other lewd and inappropriate behavior. The New York Post reported the CEO “repeatedly asked her to intimate lunches, walks in Central Park and on business trips, where he tried to engage in sexual conduct.” He was probably just hoping to live by the company’s “moving forward” slogan.