8616: 110 Percent Insanity.

Percentages and pinheads in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• Add this statistic to the 46 percent of Republicans who think President Obama is a Muslim: In the U.K., nearly 20 percent of adults believe light sabers exist, and 25 percent believe people can be teleported. Maybe Burger King’s CEO was onto something.

• 50 Cent and Gilbert Gottfried are taking heat for tweets that made light of the disaster in Japan. Fiddy’s comments included, “Look this is very serious people. I had to evacuate all my hoe’s from LA, Hawaii and Japan. I had to do it. Lol.” Gottfried chipped in, “I just split up with my girlfriend, but like the Japanese say, ‘They’ll be another one floating by any minute now.’” Wow, these guys should be writing for Groupon.

• A new survey showed 42 percent of millionaires don’t feel wealthy. Maybe that explains why so many of them consistently fuck up their tax returns.