Essay Forty-Three

Here’s a continuation of Essay Thirty-Six. The entries (names and screen names deleted for privacy) appeared on BlackVoices.com in response to the following inquiry:

Are you the only black person at your job? Do you enjoy it or do you hate it? Do you think a lot of the problems you have at work are just because you are black?

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For some reason I’m usually the only black person working in the offices where I’ve held positions. The only time I feel as though I get treated any differently is when they start talking about non-work-related stuff that they think I know nothing about, such as their vacation spots at the shore or certain places where they might have dined, shows they may have seen, stock matters, etc. That junk doesn’t bother me because in all honesty the less personal information they know about me the better. My co-workers did not even know that I had three children. My office is work only — spotless and organized with no family photos on my desk.

What REALLY, REALLY GETS ON MY LAST NERVE is when white women or men speak strongly about a topic they are considered assertive — but when I speak, using more professionalism and intellect than they are, then I am considered aggressive. What the hell is that about?

It makes me so sick that black people are always considered to be the most hateful, aggressive, out of control.

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Thank you. I too feel that we need to grow our own businesses right alongside their businesses, so that we are not only empowering our community financially, but building a legacy where future generations can grow and prosper. I too worked in white corporate America for 20 years, most of the time as the only African American woman, and more often than not as the only African American. For the first 9 years I worked day and night to build my career and reputation as a professional software designer for some of the biggest names on Wall Street. For the next 11 years I grew my own software firm on Wall Street and retired very comfortably at 49 and enrolled in law school (currently 1st year). The most valuable lesson that I learned is that IBM didn’t start out as IBM, Microsoft didn’t start out as Microsoft, Goldman Sachs didn’t start out as Goldman Sachs. Somebody labored long and hard to make these businesses what they are today. Why don’t we grow our businesses in the same way, and leave a legacy for future generations that won’t have to worry about being the only minority? Forget the excuses about lack of money, lack of know-how, lack of education, etc. We have all of that and more. I dream of the day of "African American" corporate America doing serious business with white corporate America. Money is green.

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I understand your problem. Most of these corporations who speak as equal opportunity employers or diversified employers have to make a quota. If they hired another minority to take your place, this is proof. When I joined my company ten years ago, the assistant that resigned was black. And then they hired me. I was the only one in the department. I have undergone quite a bit, especially with supervisors. The employees were fine, but management was horrible. Of course, the bank was totally redneck anyway. Me being from NY, of course, I felt totally out of place. But I tried to adjust to their country ways. It was extremely hard to deal with. Finally after 10 years when the bank had a major merger, I resigned. I am currently unemployed right now. I had had just about enough. I’m not currently in a hurry to return to the workplace. I don’t want to make the same mistake again. The next employer had better be more diversified and I will even ask before I accept another position. THIS IS TOTALLY ACCEPTABLE DURING AN INTERVIEW! If it makes the interviewer uncomfortable, then that’s a sign!

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I know where you’re coming from. As you know, there are some things that should NEVER be discussed in the workplace. Religion, politics, and do not bring your personal life into the office. My supervisor, and most of the management, broke ALL the rules (of course management consisted of all white males). If I had anything to say (and I had to be very careful of what came out of my mouth) they would politely smile or laugh. But I know I made most of them feel very UNCOMFORTABLE! I come from NY and am now living in the South and it’s been a rocky road ever since. Sometimes I want to go back to the Big Apple, but for my daughter’s sake, I remain here because NY is rough.

I had no interest in their backgrounds and did not feel they needed to intrude into mine, because we had nothing in common. I no longer work for this organization where I had been a faithful employee for 10 years. Out of my whole career, which spans over 25 years, this has been the worst experience. I opted out a few months ago because I became very stressed with the merger, departmental changes and NO INCREASE IN TWO YEARS. I got tired of my supervisor’s biased opinions. No matter what I did, he did not approve. I had only worked for this man for 2 years after my former supervisor left. I found out that they hired another black person to fill my position. I wish her luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Like you I’m unemployed as well and I’m not looking forward to joining the workforce either, but I know I have to do it soon and I am dreading it a little because of my past experience. I know that’s not the right way to think and I need to keep that situation in the past but it is very difficult for me. I was very excited about joining the company and when I was shown where I would be sitting I didn’t care that everyone was White at first because I was okay with them at my previous job...but now I will definitely think twice. Not sure if it’s wise but I’m tempted to ask my next employer if there is diversity in the office as well before I accept an offer. It’s unfortunate I have this deep-seated anger in me but no one should experience what I did at that damn place. Thanks for reading my looonnnng post. I had to vent and I’m just glad to see I’m not the only one going through this. I’m not happy we experienced this but I’m glad someone can relate to what I went through.

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Thanks for responding to my post. I feel the same way about going back to work because my finances are not going to hold out very long. But it depresses me to sit here and read some of the other posts and everyone is going through the same thing. So much prejudice all over in the workplace, no matter where you go. We can’t even work amongst ourselves. WHAT ARE WE TO DO? I did have another co-worker that was black in another department. I feel for her because we talked and discussed the same situations. The only reason she got that position was because of another merger and she was placed there with no choice. She hates it also.

We all know that those individuals who write the articles about blacks getting along in the workplace are white! What do they know — they contradict themselves! And there's always the denial. It’s always about race and they know it. Right now I joined one of those online affiliate programs to try to make a little extra cash. It’s more work than having a salaried job. I wish you luck in your endeavor as far as finding another job. We will both probably wind up going through the same crap!!!

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It is depressing at times. I feel like I’m on an emotional rollercoaster. One day I can feel so confident and then a day like today I can feel down in the dumps and lose my confidence. I have been networking with some people in hopes of obtaining a job or hearing about something new...but it’s not working. I wanted to join a tv/film association but I can’t do it right now. By joining an association you’re able to find out what’s new in the industry and what positions are available. I can’t afford the membership fee now and most of them require you to be in the industry a significant amount of time along with someone to sponsor you. My money is depleting and I’m at the point where I need something now...so I understand completely what you are going through. We both need to keep our heads up and hope for the best in the future. Good luck to you.

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I hope to keep in touch to find out how things are going with you. By the way, let me introduce myself. My name is [withheld]. I am a 48-year-old single mother of a 14-year-old daughter. I am originally from Queens, NY, and have been living here in a small town called Liberty in NC. I do not have a mate nor have I been married before. So what makes things worse is the loneliness alongside a job that you hate. At least I can spend more time with my daughter now, but when summer comes I think I’ll need to return to work. That’s the time when I need off!!!!!!

Again, keep in touch!

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I am the only black supervisor of a seemingly all-white-run company. However, I thought being so was an advantage, but it turns out that I’m just another token! My boss of five years came to me with an idea of me becoming a Regional Manager for my area, and out of the five people who applied, I was the only one whose region was realigned, and of course, you can guess what happened with that. Yes. The area was taken on by a new director, which left my position taken away. However, I was told that I was next in line. Months later, I hear that another position has come up, and in that same area. Now you tell me why I had to mention this to my boss and have her tell me she didn’t know I was still interested — if I was next in line, why would I have to?

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I’m a recruiter for a firm in NJ — I know it can be very difficult but try not to be discouraged, and this goes for all of you who are unemployed. When you’ve had a bad work-related experience within a company and you are fed up with the “blond and privileged,” it’s difficult to stay focused and to maintain an optimistic attitude, especially when the bills need to be paid, and our family is depending on us --- but WE have to.

The right job is out there for you. If you haven’t done so already post your resume on sites such as CareerBuilders.com, Monster.com, Hotjobs, etc. These are also great places to search for openings in your area. Apply to companies that may not be advertising — they may have positions available. Many corporations hire recruiting firms to find the right candidate for them. Whenever possible, deliver your resume in person — this is a great time for the company to put a face with the outstanding, error-free resume you will present to them.

As you mentioned, networking is a GREAT way, and one of my own personal favorite ways, to meet people and find out what everyone else doesn’t know. Even if you can’t afford to join a networking group, use the resources that are available to you. Use every moment that you step out of the door or come in contact with people as a networking moment.

By the way, what type of position are you looking for in TV? I have a few personal contacts in CA and NY who may be able to lend a hand.

Be encouraged and remember that God knows all of our needs (even the ones we don’t know about) and has promised to provide ALL of them. All we have to do is ask Him.

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Thanks so much for the encouraging words. I have posted my resume on all of the sites mentioned and more. I have a long list of websites I frequent every day. I would like to pursue a marketing or promotions coordinator position. When I left the TV job, one particular department piqued my interest as well. It was talent relations. By the way, I am in New York. I appreciate any help you can provide.

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What a fun and somewhat busy environment to work in. One of my NY contacts is with Lifetime TV. Would you feel comfortable forwarding your resume via e-mail? I believe that there is a way to set up a personal e-mailbox at BV but I haven’t figured out how to do it and I’m not sure if you can send an attachment through Work Talk. My home email is [withheld]. You don’t need to send your personal information, just your previous work experience.

I am only going to suggest this because it has worked for me in the past. Have you ever thought about volunteering a few hours out of your day to assist in the marketing department of some of the companies or TV stations you are interested in? This is also another great way to network. In all honesty, it doesn’t even have to be in the marketing department. You could volunteer your time anywhere within the company. One of your goals is to place yourself within the environment and surround yourself with people who have what you want, and who may be able to help you later on. There is a website that lists volunteer work all over the country. I check it out every now and then, and as a matter of fact some of the more interesting positions are in NY.

I forgot to mention yesterday that it might also be a good idea for you to set yourself goals for the week. For example, when I was searching for a new position one of my goals was to send out 25 resumes per business day. At the end of the week, 125 different companies had a copy. Do not be discouraged if you don’t hear from a company right away. I know from my own experience that when I post an opening on Friday afternoon, by Monday morning I will have at least 200 resumes in my inbox. This takes a lot of time to sort through. If I did not have an assistant to help me out it would take me forever to get through all of them (on top of the other e-mails that I get during a regular business day).

I'm home today and my 3-year-old just said that I've been on the computer too long. It was okay with her until she asked me if I was doing homework. (I take a class on-line.) When I responded “no” she wanted to know why I won’t spend any time with her. It’s amazing what you learn at 3 nowadays.

My apologies for the long message. Can you tell I love to talk :)

Chat with you later and have a blessed day.

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I just sent an email to you. Thanks again for your help.

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I truly understand how you feel. I was the only black person at work a couple of months ago. At first, I didn’t mind. I thought that not taking the job just because no one else was black would be blocking my blessings. Anyhow, I was soooo uncomfortable. I had nothing in common with anyone there. Their jokes were not funny. Even when everyone was laughing hysterically, I was just sitting there wondering what in the hell was so funny? They were all sushi lovers and I hate sushi so I never wanted to go out to lunch with them. They listened to rock & country music in the office. I mean, I felt like a true outsider. I wasn’t properly trained. I just had to jump in and basically figure stuff out on my own. They all would take off whenever they wanted to but stressed the importance of me being there every day because they all were relying on me to run the office. I mean, it was horrible. I believe to this day that the only reason why they did hire me was because I was black. My husband said that’s a good thing, but I don’t know. However, I’m glad I’m not there anymore. I’m in a place where I’m comfortable. Generally, people spend a lot of time at work. I believe that you have to enjoy where you are and enjoy what you do. Money isn’t everything. If you’re not comfortable at work, you will not be able to perform your job to the best of your ability. In that case, the job is not for you, regardless of what the situation is.

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I also work for a company (HortiMax USA) and I’m the only black woman working in the accounting office.

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I was, but I’ve gone back to school. I’m usually the only black person around. However, I usually don’t have many problems because while I’ve always gotten along with people, I’m also quick to call people on inappropriate behavior. I try to diffuse drama before it gets out of control. For my last job I out-classed all of my co-workers just by status and rank of the schools I’d graduated from (in Korea that makes a huge difference in how you’re treated). So I usually trump most around me just on credentials alone. White folks in Korea are quick to say how racist Koreans are and how they won’t hire anyone but whites. It’s funny to hear them talk about racism because usually being here is the first time they’ve ever experienced it. Also, it seems that whites here, 1) are ignorant (most are from small towns and haven’t seen or done much); and 2) have an interest in saying Koreans are mega-racists because it keeps the market exclusive to them if people of color believe it and don’t apply. It tends not to be true on the university level, as I’ve met more and more blacks and people of color teaching on the university level since I arrived. Also, when I started applying, my phone would ring off the hook and I had many people say my color didn’t matter, but my credentials, experience and work ethic would matter. It’s rare, but I’ve also been challenged point-blank regarding my qualifications by other foreigners here, but when I tell them they back down because they can’t touch me academically. (A lot of people here fake their credentials, but you can have your degrees certified by the Korean Embassy or Consulate, which I’ve done.)

Being a black woman in Asia is usually a bonus. The market here is full of white men and there are a few white women. So when an educated, well-spoken and experienced black woman comes along, I end up being in high demand and I’m viewed as an asset.

Being back in school makes it very entertaining. I’m the only foreigner, much less black person in the graduate program (there are Koreans with dual citizenship, but they blend right in). We have a weekly workshop with working professionals. One day the presenter was a white woman. It was hilarious being among the girls and hearing them ask, "who is that white girl?!" It’s funny because Asians are looked at as the "model minority." That’s because they work hard, but also they play the game well. She had no idea they were talking about her.

"The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts." — Bertrand Russell