Essay 560

A drug-induced MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• Drug addict Rush Limbaugh (mugshot above) cut a deal, agreeing to continue treatment in exchange for dropping the charges against him. Not bad for someone who once proclaimed, “Drug use, some might say, is destroying this country. And we have laws against selling drugs, pushing drugs, using drugs, importing drugs. … And so if people are violating the law by doing drugs, they ought to be accused and they ought to be convicted and they ought to be sent up.” Looks like Limbaugh played the race card here, taking advantage of his Rich White Guy status.

• Mexico is seeking to decriminalize some drug use, meaning possession of small amounts of heroin, coke, ecstasy and marijuana may not be considered a crime. Lawmakers claim the effort is designed to let police focus on the bigger drug-related crimes. Rush Limbaugh will probably immigrate to Mexico.

• President Bush criticized the Spanish version of The Star-Spangled Banner (see Essay 558). “I think the national anthem ought to be sung in English. And I think people who want to be a citizen of this country ought to learn English,” the president declared. “And they ought to learn to sing the national anthem in English.” Wonder if Bush knows the lyrics to the national anthem. Hell, does the man even know how to speak English?

• There’s a battle brewing between rappers and Oprah. In the May issue of GQ, Ludacris accuses Oprah of being “unfair” when he appeared on her show with co-stars of the movie “Crash.” The rapper-actor griped, “She edited out a lot of my comments while keeping her own in.” 50 Cent joined the fray by arguing, “I think she caters to older White women. … Oprah’s audience is my audience’s parents. So, I could care less about Oprah or her show.” Somebody hand Oprah the mic.


• adidas is pulling its limited-edition kicks featuring a controversial caricature (pictured above), following complaints from the Asian-American community. The shoemaker wrote in a letter, “Out of respect to those offended and to demonstrate our deep commitment to inclusiveness and diversity, we have chosen to pull the remaining shoes from the marketplace.” Which means eBay sales will explode like Chinese fireworks.

• The woman who sued her former employer for publicly spanking her during a “camaraderie-building exercise” was awarded $1.7 million by the trial jury (see Essay 556). Looks like the victim delivered the ultimate spanking.

• ABC drama “Commander in Chief” is receiving a spanking from Prince George’s County after the show portrayed the county as crime-infested and requiring a federal takeover. “[The show] took the largest, wealthiest Black county and reduced it to a stereotype of a poor, dangerous Black neighborhood,” a former City Council member said. “And the irony is the neighborhood isn’t even a poor Black neighborhood.” The episode also depicted the President character stepping out of her vehicle in front of a restaurant hawking sweet potato pie, pork chops and chitlins. Another critic charged, “When the president of the show gets out of a car and is in front of a restaurant that advertises chitlins and pork chops in today’s America, what any right-thinking American knows is we are harking back to an age-old inability of this country to celebrate the leadership and achievement of African Americans and other diverse people in this country.” ABC released a statement that included, “While we used the name of the community, and we researched crime statistics related to the area, we also embellished the reality to enhance the story. Our goal was to create a more compelling drama for our viewers, not to portray the actual community or its citizens, law enforcement, or civic leaders in a negative light. … We apologize for any offense, and reiterate that the series, the storyline, and the episode are all entirely works of fiction and do not depict any real person or situation.” For whatever it’s worth, given the drama’s poor audience ratings, it’s unlikely anyone actually viewed the offensive episode.

• The University of Illinois must banish its offensive Chief Illiniwek mascot (pictured below) or face losing the opportunity to host postseason sporting events. The NCAA rejected the school’s appeals, standing firmly behind its position regarding characters that may demonstrate insensitivity. The U of I will probably hold a ceremony to retire the Chief’s headdress.