5848: Fresh-Baked Bullshit.

Saw this bullshit ad seeking to position Hostess muffins as alternatives to actual baked goods. If it’s possible for mass-produced snacks to have delusions of grandeur, Hostess takes the cake. Did a Google search to ascertain the nutritional values, and wound up finding something even more outrageous—a consumer review at Epinions.com. Check it out and see if you don’t agree this critic is about as real as, well, Hostess muffins. From declaring the crap is “Almost like it came from the bakery!” to incorporating the obvious target insights of craving snacks at the office, this first-person perspective is pure fiction. Did the legal department mandate the inclusion of all the chemical ingredients?

Fresh Muffins from the Vending Machine?

Product Rating: 5.0
Pros: Soft and moist, not too sweet
Cons: Not enough!

The Bottom Line: Almost like it came from the bakery! Very surprising…

nad_masters’s Full Review: Hostess Mini Muffins — Chocolate Chip 9.6oz

Sitting around the desk simply makes you want to snack sometimes. I know, I know… that’s not a good thing. However, there are times where that weakness leads me to the lunch room’s vending machine.

I’ve noticed one of my co-workers keep getting the same Hostess Chocolate Chip Mini Muffins, so I decided to check it out.

Package
The small baggie that comes from the vending machine have about 5 small muffins. I rarely ever count, but they do run out just when I’m about ready to have enough. Today, I went ahead and bought another bag and was able to verify that it does indeed have 5 mini muffins. The net weight on the bag is 2 oz (57g), though I think it would also be more effective to say it comes with 5 of them.

The bag itself has the Hostess red, white, and blue company colors on it, along with a picture of the mini muffins popping or exploding, or otherwise, moving really fast towards you. I don’t know why — are they suppose to be extreme muffins?

Ingredients
Sugar, enriched bleached wheat flour (flour, barley malt, reduced iron, “B” vitamins (niacin, thiamine mononitrate (B1), riboflaven (B2), folic acid)), soybean oil, semi-sweet chocolate chips (sugar, chocolate liquor, dextrose, cocoa butter, soy lecithin, vanillin), whole eggs, water, corn syrup, egg whites

Contains 2% or less of: sweet dairy whey, salt, sodium stearoyl lactylate, wheat gluten, nonfat milk, sorbitan monostearate, xanthan gum, calcium acetate, guar gum, lecithin. Contains wheat, egg, milk, and soybeans.

Most of the ingredients sound like something you’d use when you’re baking this at home. They get into the ingredients that makes the enriched bleached wheat flour as well as the chocolate chips, which is impressive. The rest of the stuff listed in the 2% or less category sounds down-right scary, though. They are probably preservatives.

Taste
The bag I bought today (Feb 20) have an expiration date of Feb 22. I’m not sure how long they were in the machine, but they are still pretty soft and moist. I haven’t microwaved them yet, but on the bag, it has instructions on doing so if you like it warm. It suggests you microwaving on high for 10 to 15 seconds.

I like these muffins because of the chocolate chips. The soft and moist cake melts away and you are left with the harder chocolate chips. This combination is really nice, and I like it this way. This is the reason why I didn’t care to try it warm, as the chocolate chips would be too soft.

Each muffin is a little bigger than a mini Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup. They are bite-sized in which you can stuff the whole thing in your mouth. I still rather bite into it.

Surprisingly, the muffins taste isn’t as sweet as their other cakes with bad reputations (Ho Hos, Swiss, Twinkies, Suzie-Qs, etc). It actually taste almost as good as the home-made muffins from Costco (yes, they actually make their own in-house!).

Conclusion
These are a great snack at the desk or at home in front of the TV. They are actually moist and soft, and are very tasty. The chocolate chips give the soft cake the much needed texture to offset the softness.

Overall, they are good, but not quite sure they are good for you (in the long run). Best to not over indulge!

Recommended: Yes