14269: Brandweek Blacker Than Ever.

Oh, look! The next Brandweek soiree now features Kevin Hart as Opening Night Keynote and Lauryn Hill as Opening Night Performer.

14242: Brandweek Hearts Hart.

Oh, look! The next Brandweek soiree will feature Kevin Hart as its Opening Night Keynote. Guess Sean Combs and Will.i.am weren’t available.

6098: Mad Ave Minorities Have It Made…?

Brandweek presented a story claiming Hispanic marketing executives are not too concerned about the possibility that our lousy economy might adversely affect multicultural business. The piece spotlighted three reasons why Hispanic marketers can feel relatively calm:

• The categories remaining strong are comparatively nondiscretionary for Hispanics: wireless, food and cars. People cannot give up talking, eating or driving to work, execs say. Thus those dollars are protected.

• Hispanics under-index in terms of stock market holdings and income, and their finances have not been impacted the way the general market has.

• Hispanic marketing budgets are already so small that cutting them doesn’t really have a significant impact on most company’s expense lines.

Huh? First, the nondiscretionary categories hardly offer safety, especially when the automakers are tanking. Sure, Hispanics “cannot give up talking, eating or driving to work,” but advertisers can give up funding the minority efforts—and they often do before whacking general market budgets. Second, the second point must be applied to the global industry. That is, when advertisers’ stock market holdings and incomes are negatively impacted, the minority agencies will absolutely see financial repercussions—usually proportionately larger than the hits delivered to general market agencies. Third, the final bullet is almost obscene in its matter-of-fact tone. Admitting minority expenditures are so tiny that clients won’t realize significant savings by eliminating them clearly demonstrates the blatant inequities. Congratulations, Hispanic professionals, you’re in little danger of losing your table scraps.