Sunday, February 12, 2006

Essay 397


Incredible edibles and other food for thought in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• Kraft Foods is taking heat from Italians over its Parmesan product. The controversy involves the aging process, which purists insist should take no less than one year. But the food scientists at Kraft managed to speed things up to six months. That’s not surprising coming from a food manufacturer producing some cheese products that are technically not cheese (e.g., Cheez Whiz, Kraft Singles, etc.). Hell, some lawyer should check into whether Kraft should be labeled as a “food” manufacturer.

• Kellogg is celebrating a century of producing breakfast food for America. Ironically, the company started when a doctor and his brother were experimenting in a hospital kitchen, attempting to produce tastier bread for patients — and today, Kellogg is seeking to improve the nutritional value of its products. The company also plans to produce more items targeting Baby Boomers. Look for Kellogg’s Frosted Viagra Flakes soon.

• Salsa long ago beat out ketchup as America’s favorite condiment. Now tortillas are gaining serious crossover appeal. “Tortillas are riding on the back of a lot of other things that are going on, interest in ethnic food, interest in low-carbs, and people want good value,” one expert said. Look for Kellogg’s Frosted Tortilla Flakes soon.

• The racially-charged jail riots in Los Angeles have continued throughout the week after the initial melee on February 4 (see Essay 380). Officials report the conflicts are between Black and Hispanic gang members, and separating inmates by race has legal and political challenges. If racial segregation is a no-no, why not split folks along gang lines? Or even tattoos?

• Violent crime is on the rise in cities like Milwaukee, Houston and Philadelphia. A disturbing trend shows many disputes are erupting over seemingly trivial matters, from “disrespecting” family members to giving someone a nasty facial expression. “We’re seeing a very angry population, and they don’t go to fists anymore, they go right to guns,” a Milwaukee police official said. “A police department can have an effect on drugs or gangs. But two people arguing in a home, how does the police department go in and stop that?” Are you looking at me?

Essay 396


Black History Month Advertising

BellSouth’s ad appears to be running a month late, saluting Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. In keeping with the belated sentiment, BellSouth customers ought to delay paying their phone bills for a month.

Saturday, February 11, 2006

Essay 395


A MultiCultClassics Monologue Saturday Sequel…

• Busta Rhymes skipped the funeral of his associate killed during a shootout at a rap video production (see Essay 392). Rhymes’ lawyer released a statement sending the rapper’s condolences and calling the shooting victim “one of the rare friends you come across that you can trust with your life.” Then Rhymes and his lawyer continued to blow off the cops’ requests for information regarding the shooting. That’s what friends are for.

• The six-year-old boy accused of sexual harassment received an apology from school officials (see Essay 392). “[School officials] said they learned a lesson, and they said they will go over the rules to change things,” the child’s mother announced. Nonetheless, the mother transferred her son to a new school on Friday. The kid is probably looking for a fresh stable of fillies, if you know what we’re saying.

• “Think small” appears to be the resurrected line at Volkswagon. The automaker announced plans to cut 20,000 jobs over the next three years. The company’s current tagline is, “Drivers wanted.” About 20,000 folks will soon be looking for signs reading, “Help wanted.”

• Republican lawmakers in Ohio proposed a measure to prohibit gays from adopting children. The primary sponsor argues he’s fighting for children, citing studies have shown that youngsters do best in a home where they’re raised by a mother and a father. Has anyone ever produced a study showing the effects of being raised by Republican assholes?

• A woman returning from a Haitian trip was jailed when authorities discovered a human skull in her luggage at Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport. The woman claimed she planned to use the head for Vodou purposes. Unfortunately, customs laws prohibit packing human body parts except for scientific purposes. One more odd note surrounding this story — the woman’s last name is Severe.

Essay 394


The following appeared in The Washington Post…

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Two Immigrants, Two Standards

By Stacy Caplow and Lauren Kosseff
Saturday, February 11, 2006

We recently learned that U.S. immigration policy is, in fact, capable of fast action and flexibility. It just depends on who the immigrant is.

In December Congress speedily passed special immigration legislation to benefit just one person: an ice dancer. As a Canadian, she couldn’t join the 2006 U.S. Olympics team. But a law was written that lasted exactly two days, long enough for her to be fast-tracked for citizenship and sent to compete for the United States.

Around the same time, we at the Safe Harbor Project at Brooklyn Law School received notice that the U.S. immigration system had denied entry to Teresa, a 14-year-old African girl who has been stranded as a refugee in Guinea almost all her life. She is trying to join her adoptive mother, Momara (no real names are used here, as is generally practiced with asylum), a refugee from Sierra Leone who was granted asylum in the United States. But in this girl’s case, there is no fast track, only the rigid application of a procedural rule.

Teresa’s harrowing story began when she was born in the bush, where everyone from her town had fled to escape rampaging rebel forces threatening to kill them. Her birth mother died giving birth to her. Without a second thought, Momara scooped up the infant and from that moment on considered Teresa her own. She, Teresa and her other young children went to a refugee camp and remained there until the rebel forces struck again, robbing the refugees and stabbing Momara. Somehow the family made its way to Freetown, the capital of Sierra Leone, but they were still not safe. Rebels beheaded Momara's husband before their eyes, gang-raped and beat Momara, and stabbed her sons. Miraculously, they escaped and, without husband and father, fled to Guinea.

With our legal representation Momara received asylum in 2004. She now lives with her grown son in Queens. An uneducated woman with few personal belongings, she has great dignity and endless hope for her future in the United States. Yet her worries have not ended, because she has not yet been reunited with all her children.

The law permits immediate relatives of refugees -- spouses and biological and adopted children -- to come to the United States. Momara’s three biological children were recently granted derivative asylum and are waiting for visas. But Teresa is another story. Since she is not Momara’s biological child, she can qualify for a visa only with proof that she is adopted. The Department of Homeland Security denied her application because she does not have an “official adoption decree” from Sierra Leone.

As Momara’s lawyers, we explained to DHS that Sierra Leone was devastated by a 10-year civil war. Many children have been orphaned in the war, and it is customary for other families to adopt and raise them, albeit without official adoption papers. The country does not have a functioning government, much less a formalized adoption procedure.

Momara is pleading to be reunited with all of her children and to know that they are finally out of harm’s way. But the DHS stated in its denial of Teresa’s visa application that “[s]ince there are no formal adoption decrees in Sierra Leone then you are unable to provide a copy of the final adoption decree . . . which has been registered with the proper civil authorities.” This is a new version of Catch-22: We know it’s impossible for you to get the proof we request; nevertheless we will withhold the relief you seek because you cannot obtain the proof.

The DHS’s flat denial shows an all-too-familiar inflexibility in the administration of U.S. immigration policy and frustrates one of its most fundamental stated goals: family unification. Our nation’s consensus, derived from international norms, is that innocent families, survivors of terrorism and brutality elsewhere in the world, be granted asylum here. Yet the DHS has chosen to bar a victimized and vulnerable girl from rejoining her family for the flimsiest of reasons -- lack of an unobtainable document.

The machinery of Congress was geared up to make it possible for an ice dancer to bring Olympic glory to the United States. Why can’t it be set in motion for humanitarian cases such as that of Teresa and her mother? That would bring us a measure of glory, too.

Stacy Caplow is a professor and director of the Safe Harbor Project at Brooklyn Law School. Lauren Kosseff is a third-year student there.

Essay 393


Black History Month Advertising

Sprint boasts of revolutionizing BHM with a special service called “Textoids.” Daily text messages present “Moments in Black History” to wireless phone users. Gee, can’t think of a more annoying promotion. What’s next — Malcolm X ringers? Check the details at www.sprint.com/blackhistory.

Friday, February 10, 2006

Essay 392


Thank God it’s a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• Busta Rhymes may not be a buster after all (see Essay 390). Despite initial sharp words from relatives of the victim of the recent shooting, the rapper attended the wake, prayed over the slain associate’s body and vowed to take care of the grieving family. Then Rhymes continued to ignore police requests for a statement.

• Maryland Lt. Governor Michael Steele apologized for comparing cell stem research to Nazi medical tests performed on Jews in World War II. It’s bad enough that Steele made the comparison; but it’s even more messed up that he said it to a Baltimore Jewish group. A political science professor at Johns Hopkins University called Steele’s statement “probably not the best move.” Brilliant conclusion, professor.

• Spike Lee addressed students at the University of Mississippi and criticized the state flag. “You’ve gotta do something about that flag,” Lee said. “I know people say it’s representative of history. Well, so’s the swastika.” Maryland Lt. Governor Michael Steele could not be reached to elaborate.

• A six-year-old in Massachusetts was suspended from school for sexual harassment. The kid allegedly put two fingers in a female classmate’s waistband. However, he claimed he did it because she touched him first. So maybe the little girl should be charged as a sexual predator. Ironically, most adults accused of sexual harassment will insist they’re just being immature and childish.

• As if Hurricane Katrina wasn’t political enough already. Now an advocacy group has filed a lawsuit charging that upcoming New Orleans elections will hurt Black candidates. The group argues that displaced Black voters will have tremendous challenges casting ballots. Even the NAACP is weighing in on the issue. Politics in The Chocolate City may soon turn vanilla.

• An ex-ad salesman for the Philadelphia Eagles saw the courts overturn his six-figure award. The Pennsylvania Human Relations Commission originally awarded the man $600,000 after employers distributed a book to salespeople in 2001 that instructed Black salesmen to “dress very White.” The commission deemed it a blatant case of stereotyping and bias. But the Commonwealth Court disagreed and stated, “While there is no question that the distribution of the book at issue here was unprofessional, insulting and insensitive, it was not severe and pervasive.” Hey, is it proper to dress very White after Labor Day?

Essay 391


Black History Month Advertising

Pepsi encourages people to “express yourself through the arts, sciences, sports or music.” And do it with a carefully art directed can of Pepsi in your hand.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Essay 390


Big, Fat Liars in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• Mickey D’s admitted its french fries have one-third more trans fat than previously reported. The new findings came from an improved testing process that produces more accurate results. “As part of our ongoing voluntary efforts to provide our customers with the best science-based information, we continually enhance our testing,” said a McDonald’s official. Here’s another probable new factoid: The typical McDonald’s customer is one Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese away from a massive coronary.

• Busta Rhymes told police he couldn’t provide information about the recent shooting because he was grieving (see Essay 388). However, the victim’s sister-in-law lashed out over the rapper’s no-show at the memorial service. “To [Busta Rhymes and his crew], all these people that watch them — that watch their bodies — are replaceable,” she said. “Why aren’t [Rhymes and witnesses] cooperating to find the person that shot him?” Grieving at the Grammy Awards maybe?

• D.C. Council member Marion Barry’s tax sentencing was postponed. An irked judge was forced to delay the proceedings because Barry failed to promptly file his returns, make payment arrangements on outstanding debts and provide certain papers to the court. Not sure if they meant tax papers or rolling paper.

• New Jersey Assemblyman William Payne is spending Black History Month trying to get schools to teach Black history. In 2002 New Jersey passed the nation’s first law to mandate that schools integrate Black history into regular curriculum. But some educators don’t know the law exists, prompting the state’s education commissioner to send reminder memos. Wonder if the delinquent educators even know Black History Month exists.

• The U.S. Army has been stepping up recruiting efforts among Hispanic youth. In the last five years, Hispanic enlistments have risen 26 percent. However, critics argue the recruiters can be sneaky, with techniques including repeated phone calls, free meals at favorite restaurants and trips to the gym. “The recruiter does not lie, but he does not tell the whole truth,” one critic said. “If you don’t know the question to ask, you don’t get the information. With language and cultural differences, it’s complicated.” Can’t believe the military would be so calculating and deceptive.

Essay 389


Black History Month Advertising

Mickey D’s presents the standard essay contest that lets kids write about who or what inspires them. Hopefully, the judging panel won’t include the folks responsible for the corny copy in this ad.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Essay 388


Midweek Mini MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• Busta Rhymes refuses to speak with police regarding the recent shooting that left a member of the rapper’s group dead (see Essay 383). Rhymes insists he needs time to grieve. The cops believe the rapper needs time to huddle with lawyers. A sister of the victim said, “[Busta Rhymes and all involved parties] are low-life scum, and they should be men and stand up and do the right thing.” You know it’s bad when rappers remain silent.

• Miami boasts the world’s largest number of Hispanic teens acing the college-level Advanced Placement exams. Black students in Chicago scored world-class results too, particularly at the city’s Morgan Park High School, where teachers have made a dedicated effort to help students succeed. President Bush has been a strong supporter of the AP Program. It’s kind of ironic that the guy with a notoriously awful reputation as a student may ultimately be remembered as “The Education President.”

• Ford Motor Company is offering new employee incentives — $100,000 each to workers willing to lose all benefits except their pensions. The automaker is also serving up tuition programs and preretirement options. The deals, presented to workers from idled plants, constitute part of Ford’s efforts to seriously downsize. At some point, these guys need to consider offering consumer incentives like, say, well-built cars.

Essay 387




Peruse through any minority business publication and you’ll find the stereotypical collection of messages from advertisers hyping their own corporate commitments to diversity.

Pepsi, Kodak, IBM, Verizon, Mastercard, Citigroup, Procter & Gamble and more show images of multicultural staffers with contrived headlines lecturing on the power of differing perspectives.

Whatever.

These efforts have been discussed here before (click on the essay title above to review Essay 141).

It’s bad enough that advertisers want to promote themselves in this manner. After all, if you can legitimately talk the talk and walk the walk, why walkie-talkie your accomplishments with such braggadocio?

But what’s particularly perplexing is that the advertising agencies servicing these clients don’t aspire to similar standards. Why do corporations demand diversity from themselves, yet not from their advertising agency partners?

After countless decades of exclusivity and discrimination, it appears that advertising agencies are unable and/or unwilling to solve the problems. Perhaps it’s time for the clients who ultimately bankroll the agencies to step forward and mandate progress.

Now that would be something worthy of hyping in the business publications.



Essay 386


Black History Month Advertising

GMAC Financial Services proclaims, “A community’s dreams come true when we dream together.” This ad is a bad dream.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Essay 385


Hey, Mister — It’s another MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• R. Kelly plans to tour nationwide under a new name — Mr. Show Biz. Guess it sounds more catchy than Mr. Child Pornographer.

• Mr. Accused Child Molester — aka Michael Jackson — is being considered to sing a prayer by Pope John Paul II on a special CD. An Italian reverend brainstormed the idea, which still needs to be sold to the Vatican. Talk about the perfect gift for those altar-boy-loving priests.

• Police continue to investigate leads in the Busta Rhymes shooting (see Essay 383). Initial questioning involves members of 50 Cent’s G-Unit posse. One person of interest has already sought legal counsel that announced, “Based on my advice, [the person of interest] will not, and does not, speak to prosecuting authorities. He never has, and he doesn’t plan on it.” Looks like they’ve found Mr. Shooter.

• D.C. Council member and former mayor Marion Barry will be sentenced tomorrow for tax crimes. Prosecutors are recommending that Barry must submit to regular drug testing to avoid prison time. No comment yet from Mr. Crack Addict.

• General Motors Corp. announced plans to cut its yearly dividend in half, cut health benefits for salaried retirees and cut the salaries of its chairman and senior executive team. No word yet regarding any plans to build better cars.

• New York voters who speak Chinese and Korean have filed a federal lawsuit. The group claims the city fails to offer help at the polls to voters with limited English. Let’s get this straight. These folks can’t figure out voting instructions, but they have no problem filing a federal lawsuit?

Essay 384


Black History Month Advertising

From gospel choirs to jazz musicians to family reunions to kente cloth, IBM may have successfully collected every Black advertising cliché imaginable.

Monday, February 06, 2006

Essay 383


Signs of the Times with a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• In another desperate attempt to deal with illegal immigration, Arizona lawmakers are seeking to arrest folks for trespassing. “I have never heard of anything more ridiculous in my life,” one Arizona mayor said. Past efforts like this have failed, as expanding state trespassing laws can be difficult to enforce and even deemed unconstitutional. Plus, “Keep off the grass” signs could be problematic, given the high number of undocumented workers providing landscaping services.

• Hispanic crooner Luis Miguel was asked to sing a few bars by a Colorado bartender last month. Instead, the singer allegedly punched the man in the face. When presented with the initial request, Miguel apparently replied, “For $1,000.” The bartender responded with, “I wouldn’t give you 50 cents.” About twenty minutes later, the singer’s bodyguard grabbed the bartender while Miguel punched him. Miguel may end up paying the bartender for a request gone awry.

• For the fourth year in a row, Oprah won the top spot for favorite TV personality in the annual Harris Poll. No surprise there. However, leaping from number 8 to a tie for number 4 is the personality-free Bill O’Reilly. Oprah’s ranking shows a lot of Americans still appreciate a bright and positive spirit. O’Reilly’s ranking shows a lot of Americans are mean-spirited assholes.

• A rap video shoot turned into a rap shooting. Busta Rhymes and his crew were fired upon yesterday, and the result was tragic for one group member. A man in charge of guarding Rhymes’ jewelry died from a gunshot wound. Police have arrested no suspects yet, but they believe the shooting involved 50 Cent’s G-Unit posse. Imagine that.

• Michael Jackson took a shot from his ex-wife, who claims the King of Pop owes her over $75,000 in legal fees for their child-custody battle. This could explain why Jackson has recently been spotted wearing women’s clothing. Then again, will there ever be any reasonable explanations for anything involving Jacko?

Essay 382


Black History Month Advertising

The U.S. Army salutes its own ranks during Black History Month. Wonder how Cindy Sheehan would respond to this message.

Sunday, February 05, 2006

Essay 381


It’s ironic that the Dove Super Bowl spot appeared during one of the most plain and ugly games in recent NFL history.

Dove’s biased views on beauty continue to reveal a disturbing insensitivity. Why imply the Asian girl wearing a bathing suit in the shower is unattractive? Why imply the dark-haired minority girl — who would be considered strikingly gorgeous by even Eurocentric beauty standards — wishes she were blonde? And when the spot transitions to the uplifting message of hope and improved self-esteem, why show a dancing trio of pretty and angelic White girls?

Once again, Dove sought to redefine our notions on beauty. But in the end, the advertiser presented the message with stereotypically beautiful girls. Dove had an opportunity to realize a breakthrough achievement by depicting ordinary, unspectacular girls. Yet like the Indianapolis Colts, the advertiser choked. Dove ultimately perpetuated the status quo so prevalent in mainstream media. Plus, displaying the non-White girls as less than beautiful is arguably racist.

Referring to girls’ alleged negative self-perceptions, Dove proclaims, “Let’s change their minds.” Maybe the advertiser should start by reevaluating its own twisted perspectives.

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To view the commercial, click on the essay title above. Plus, feel free to review Essays 119, 340 and 373.

Essay 380


Serving up a MultiCultClassics Monologue with plenty of MSG…

• The sexual harassment shenanigans at Madison Square Garden are getting even nastier. Recent stories centered on charges that Knicks president Isiah Thomas harassed a team executive, and the executive was later fired (see Essay 365). Now a video technician claims colleagues punched, kicked and verbally abused her — plus she was subjected to pinups and pornography. Damn, the stadium employees are more physical and aggressive than the Knicks players.

• About 2,000 inmates rioted at a Southern California jail, and officials are citing racial tensions between Black and Hispanic gangs as the cause. The hour-long fracas left over 100 injured and one inmate dead — and additional scuffles continued four hours after the main battle. Gee, it sounds almost as bad as Madison Square Garden.

• Anyone eagerly awaiting the autobiography of Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas will have to remain patient, as the project is behind schedule. Thomas has been writing for nearly five years, and he even received a $500,000 advance in 2003. The book was slated for release in 2005. Hey, maybe he’s waiting for Anita Hill to submit her chapters — or he’s busy offering opinions on the Madison Square Garden proceedings.

• Diddy’s doing fragrance ads and apparently causing controversy. The images feature the hip-hop celebrity with two women in various states of undress. Some stores objected, requiring toned down versions to be produced. “I had a feeling the ads would catch some people’s eyes,” said Sean Combs. “But that’s because there aren’t any other ads with a young black man with fragrances and sexy poses. I’m showing the growth of the world. But sexy poses certainly aren’t new to fragrance ads.” Yo, look for the ads to appear at Madison Square Garden soon.

Essay 379


Betty Friedan
1921-2006

Click on the essay title above to learn more.

Essay 378


Black History Month Advertising

American Family Insurance plays it safe with a campaign titled Black Jewels — a series of ads commemorating special moments in Black history. Then again, American Family Insurance plays it safe with its mass market branding campaign too.