Essay 983

Belting out the news with a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• The New York Post reported that Foxy Brown was acting crazy before allegedly lifting two expensive belts from a trendy boutique (see Essay 978). The rap diva apparently threatened a family friend just before heading to the store, screaming at the friend for no apparent reason. “She just flipped,” said the family friend. “She was just shouting — and then she threatened to attack me.” Yeah, desperately seeking accessories can drive folks over the edge.

• Lil’ Kim may find herself in a catfight, as a Jamaican reggae singer is suing the rap star for allegedly stealing lyrics. A song from Lil’ Kim’s 2005 album, The Naked Truth, sounds extremely similar to a reggae tune released in 1997. What’s more, Lil’ Kim even admitted being a great fan of the female reggae artist, actually recording with her in 1999. Yeah, sounds like the recently released rapper is in a lil’ more trouble.

• California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger has settled a libel suit with a British TV personality who claims the actor-politician groped her in 2000 and defamed her in 2003. “The parties are content to put this matter behind them and are pleased that this legal dispute has now been settled,” said Schwarzenegger’s lawyers. Yeah, Schwarzenegger probably sent her off with a friendly pat on the ass.

• The Chicago Urban League has a new chief — Cheryle Jackson. Founded in 1916, the organization is dedicated to fighting discrimination in education and employment. Boasting a membership exceeding 1,100, the Chicago Urban League offers programs in youth mentoring, financial counseling, job training and placement, affordable housing, health services and more. Jackson plans to focus on reaching the younger generations while moving the organization forward. She said, “I would like to take the traditional tools of civil rights and merge them with the tools used on Wall Street and Madison Avenue.” Um, somebody better tell her about the discrimination tools used on Madison Avenue.

Essay 982

For the past few weeks, MultiCultClassics has been paging through general market magazines in search of advertising featuring Black characters. The list included Elle, Vogue, Cosmopolitan, People, Us, Reader’s Digest, TV Guide, Redbook, Woman’s Day, Parents, Esquire, GQ, Vanity Fair, Time, Newsweek, Business Week, Forbes and many more.

Excluded were layouts with Black sports figures, celebrities and super models. Additionally, ads depicting group photos including token Black figures were nixed. The goal was to determine the true diversity of the general market adscape.

After poring over scores of publications — and literally thousands of pages of ads and editorial — barely a dozen messages were uncovered.

This week, MultiCultClassics presents the rare findings.

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Depend shows anything’s possible by letting Blacks hawk adult diapers. Sheeee-it.

Essay 981

From The New York Post…

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CLA$$ SELECTION AT IVY HALLS

INJUSTICE LEAGUE REVEALED

By WILLIAM GEORGIADES

The country’s most elite colleges turn away deserving students to admit the less talented offspring of alumni and of wealthy and powerful parents, according to an explosive new book.

“One of the last taboos among America’s aristocracy is talking — or writing — about pulling strings in college admissions,” writes Pulitzer Prize-winning Wall Street Journal reporter Daniel Golden in “The Price of Admission: How America’s Ruling Class Buys Its Way into Elite Colleges — And Who Gets Left Outside the Gates.”

In what Golden calls “affirmative action for rich white people,” colleges like Brown, Princeton and Harvard ignore poor SAT scores and other factors in favor of alumni connections, celebrity parents and generous donors.

An advance copy of the book, being published by Crown and due in bookstores Sept. 5, cites the following examples:

- Christopher Ovitz, son of Michael Ovitz, “had a mediocre academic record and a middle-school suspension for swinging a baseball bat at a female classmate.” Brown University admitted him as “a special student.” He didn’t last a year.

- The now-disgraced New Jersey real-estate developer Charlie Kushner pledged $2.5 million to Harvard in 1998. A year later, his son Jared, who recently bought The New York Observer, was admitted to Harvard despite having test scores “well below Ivy League standards.” Then “Kushner gave $3 million to endow an undergraduate deanship at NYU in July 2001; his daughter, Dara, enrolled that fall.” In 2003, Jared went on to NYU Law.

- Model Lauren Bush, niece of President Bush, applied to Princeton in February 2002, a month after its application deadline had passed. She was granted a “special dispensation” despite “SAT scores considerably below the typical Princeton student.”

- David Zucconi, a Brown administrator, “helped guide Jane Fonda’s daughter, Vanessa Vadim, through the admission process.” Later, the actress “gave $750,000 anonymously for minority scholarships.”

Golden details how “university presidents generally have a right-hand man, from Joel Fleishman at Duke to the late David Zucconi at Brown, whose role is to gratify key donors and alumni, including facilitating the admission of their children.”

How unfair is it?

The sons of Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist and former Vice President Al Gore, “both middling students who preferred partying to homework,” according to Golden, were admitted to Princeton and Harvard, respectively, “where their fathers had gone before them.”

Elite offspring who do get in say there’s a reason for the uneven selection system.

Frances Cashin, who followed her dad, Richard, an investment manager and big-time donor, into Harvard, told the author that “any college has to be careful about the students it lets in from a social perspective … It’s important to Harvard to have people who know what it means to work hard, make good friends, and go out at night. A lot more alumni children are well-rounded kids, probably because they come from more stable families.”

But so many spaces at elite universities are reserved for well-connected students, lamented a Notre Dame official quoted by the author, that “the poor schmuck who has to get in on his own has to walk on water.”

Essay 980

Blacks must keep their eyes on the truth

By Stanley Crouch

We live in a peculiarly twisting and turning time in which the responsibility of defining our troubles becomes ever more befuddling. Now Juan Williams, because of his new book, “Enough,” is getting the treatment.

Williams, so goes the critics’ tales, is a man who went blind in the long storm of racial trouble and has converted to that lunatic, black middle class, which rejects its lower-class brothers and can do nothing but “blame the victim.”

How did Williams become excluded from the squad of acceptable black commentators after debating the right-wing gang on Fox News, writing a biography of Thurgood Marshall and another book examining the role of faith in Afro-American progress, and working on the impressive PBS documentary of the civil rights movement, “Eyes on the Prize”?

Williams would be just fine if he had denounced Bill Cosby instead of championing the comedian’s opinions and basing “Enough” on substantial research that corroborates Cosby’s attacks on the self-destructive behavior in the black lower class.

“What happens,” says Williams, “is that you become some sort of a leper if you don’t lockstep your opinions in line with white liberals. They run the programming of CBS, NBC and ABC, and they don’t want you to rock the boat of received opinion. I have done my homework and I have seen these problems grow to epidemic proportions. But I have to say that these white liberals have bought the line of the do-nothing black leadership on the one hand, and have been convinced that the high dropout rate, the violence and the misogyny you hear in one rap recording after another are just natural to black culture and not an aberration.”

Williams means that what he calls a “culture of failure” is a historical aberration. Once upon a time in America, black people from the top to the bottom realized the importance of education in supplying some of the most reliable tools with which to combat the limitations imposed by racism. Though 500 black men just graduated from Morehouse College, there is now a 50% dropout rate among black high school students in America. Though Dorothy Height and the Council of Negro Women warned against irresponsible sexual behavior many years ago, 70% of black American children are born out of wedlock.

Racists might look at the gloomy numbers and say that they were right all along: Black men and women are not ready for civilization. But we have learned so much about the gene pool over the past 50 years that we can now dismiss such stupidity and realize that what we are seeing has less to do with genetic doom than with learned behavior, or learned misbehavior. It is still, however, an inarguable form of doom.

I strongly recommend “Enough” as a very welcome turning away from explaining everything in terms of white America’s unlimited power and unlimited disregard. Had black Americans ever truly believed that, there never would have been a Thurgood Marshall or a Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. and all of those who came before them. In our moment, Bill Cosby opened the door for new discussion. For the good of all, Juan Williams is helping to hold that door open. If you enter, you will risk nothing but your received opinions.

Essay 979

This Asian American-targeted ad is abnormally awful.

Essay 978

Not-so-funny business in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• Forbes magazine sparked outrage by publishing an editorial titled, “Don’t Marry a Career Woman” — compelling men to avoid such unions or face disaster. The writer referenced studies that showed career women are more likely to cheat on their spouses and get divorced. “If they do have kids, they’re more likely to be unhappy about it. … The more successful she is, the more likely she is to grow dissatisfied with you,” wrote the editor. “The piece was intended to be part academic and part humorous,” said editor-in-chief Steve Forbes. “Instead, it profoundly offended hardworking career women everywhere. We deeply regret having done so.” Bet Forbes caught heat from his wife and five daughters.

• Foxy Brown is being accused of stealing two $400 belts from a boutique in Greenwich Village. The rap diva allegedly threw a fit upon learning the shop had not finished tailoring some lingerie, ultimately grabbing the belts and storming out. “Honestly, I never thought she would do anything like that,” said the boutique owner. “I was shocked. Who does she think she is?” Seems like the boutique owner got off easy, as Foxy has been known to become physically violent over bad manicures.

• Elton John wants to produce a hip-hop album. “I want to work with Pharrell, Timbaland, Snoop, Kanye, Eminem and just see what happens,” said John. “It may be a disaster, it could be fantastic, but you don’t know until you try. … I want to bring my songs and melodies to hip-hop beats.” Maybe he could belt out some music with Foxy Brown.

Essay 977

Yo, this is definitely not the best ad in the house.

Essay 976

Maybe the headline should have read, “Fits like a glove.”

Essay 975

Dealing with change in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• The Hitler’s Cross restaurant in Mumbai, India, will change its name after protests. For history buffs, while Nazis adopted the swastika as their own, it originated as an ancient Hindu symbol of good luck and is still present throughout India. “Once [people] told me how upset they were with the name, I decided to change it,” said the restaurant owner. “I don’t want to do business by hurting people.” Alternative names probably include Kaddafi’s Kitchen and bin Laden’s Bistro.

• A Louisiana school bus driver has been suspended after ordering Black kids to sit at the back of the vehicle. “All nine [Black] children were assigned to two seats in the back of the bus and the older ones had to hold the smaller ones in their laps,” said one parent. Back to school means back to segregation.

• Following Dell’s record-breaking battery recall, Apple instructed customers to return 1.8 million laptop batteries. Wonder how this might change the debates between the Mac and PC characters in those annoying commercials.

Essay 974

Basketball is to Black advertising what soccer is to Hispanic advertising.

Essay 973

From DiversityInc.com…

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Rush Limbaugh Steps In It Again With ‘Survivor’ Comments

Controversial talk-show host Rush Limbaugh predicts a Latino will win the upcoming 13th season of “Survivor” because blacks are not good swimmers and Latinos “will do things other people won’t do.” 

Yesterday after CBS announced that it would break down the tribes on the hit reality show “Survivor” by race (Asians, Latinos, blacks and whites), Limbaugh went on a racially insensitive tirade. He suggested on his nationally syndicated radio program, that the competition in “Survivor” will not “be fair if there’s a lot of water events.” In support of this assertion, he cited a March 2 HealthDay article reporting that “young blacks—especially males—are much more likely to drown in pools than whites.”

The HealthDay article he based his argument on, however, did not address the swimming abilities of blacks in general. HealthDay, according to Media Matters, reported that “[r]esearchers don’t know why black kids are at higher risk of drowning,” that “[m]ost of the black [drowning] victims … drowned in public pools,” and that the “study didn’t examine whether the victims had taken swimming lessons or whether the pools were supervised by lifeguards.” Additionally, the article noted that according to the study, “people from poorer families were more likely to drown … regardless of race,” and that one author of the study suggested “[f]uture research” will be done to “examine whether swimming instruction reduces the risk of drowning.”

Limbaugh said that there “are many characteristics … that you would think would give [the African-American tribe] the lead and the heads up in terms of skill and athleticism and so forth.” But as far as an early prediction on a winner, he is counting on the Latino tribe to win unless they “start fighting for supremacy amongst themselves.” He went on to say that Latinos have “probably shown the most survival tactics,” and that they “have shown a remarkable ability to cross borders.”

Limbaugh, not wanting to leave anyone out of his offensive speech, said “the Asian-American tribe”—whom he called “the brainiacs of the bunch”—probably will “outsmart everybody” but would not be the winners. He went on to say that “the Native Americans were excluded, because they were at one with the land and they would probably have an unfair advantage.”

In response to a black caller, Limbaugh said that “the white tribe would be the best swimmers” based on the performance of white athletes at the Olympics. After apparently disconnecting or cutting the volume level of the caller, according to Media Matters for America, Limbaugh said: “[Y]ou’re saying I’m being racist because I’m saying blacks can’t swim … I mentioned the swimming comment only because it’s not going to be fair if there is a lot of water competition in this. It just isn’t. It is not a racial or racist comment at all.”

Essay 972

Now this is messed up. Mini-Wheats illustrates big-eared geeks for two separate markets. And the Hispanic kid even gets a soccer jersey for added relevance. Damn.

Essay 971

Here’s the Hispanic-targeted version of the ad concept presented in Essay 942. There’s probably a Native American-targeted version featuring a father and son building a toy teepee.

Essay 970

Hunting for news with a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• SWAT teams may increase their presence along the U.S.-Mexico border. The special units have been dealing with drug dealers and human traffickers since the 1980s, staging “soft” ambushes against a sometimes heavily-armed target. “We will go in hard, often with a flash-bang grenade to maintain the element of surprise,” said one SWAT member. “Even if they have weapons, it can turn a lethal situation into a non-lethal situation. … We are paid to hunt people and we think we are smarter than they are.” The hunters who are not smarter comprise The Minuteman Project.

• A new survey showed nearly 20 percent of female cadets at The Citadel claimed being sexually assaulted since signing up at the military college. Plus, nearly 4 percent of male cadets reported instances of sexual assault. Is this part of the ultimate training for serving in the armed forces?

• Foxy Brown was a no-show for her latest court appearance. She probably didn’t receive the phone call to appear because she was using her cell phone to beat manicurists (see Essay 806).

• Wendy’s completed its switch to using new cooking oil to reduce the levels of trans fat in menu offerings. The fast feeder becomes the first major chain to make such a change. Mickey D’s continues to drag its McFeet on the issue, opting to change COOs instead.

Essay 969

The Volkswagen Jetta “Safe Happens” television campaign presents car crashes. In this Hispanic-targeted print ad, the typography is a total wreck.

Essay 968

From The New York Times…

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‘Survivor’ to Divide Teams Along Racial Lines

By BILL CARTER

For the first time since it went on the air in 2000, the hit CBS reality television program “Survivor” will divide its teams — or tribes, as they are known on the show — along racial lines.

For the first half of the series this fall, four teams of five members will be made up of blacks, Asian-Americans, Hispanics and whites. They will compete in weekly challenges against each other, and the losing group will have to vote out a member of its own team.

Mark Burnett, the series producer, said in a telephone interview yesterday that the decision to organize the teams by race was made in group discussions with CBS executives and was in no way intended to promote racial divisiveness.

“In America today,” Mr. Burnett said, “I really don’t believe there are many people who hate each other because of their race. But even though people may work together, they do tend in their private lives to divide along social and ethnic lines.”

Mr. Burnett noted that in many cities, members of ethnic groups tended to cluster in neighborhoods. “In New York you will find areas like Little Afghanistan,” he said. “Maybe in the year 3010, when we’re all coffee-colored, it really will make no difference. But right now, it is what it is.”

Mr. Burnett said that “Survivor” and other shows had often been criticized for a lack of ethnic diversity. “We’re always hearing about how we only have two token blacks on the show,” he said. And the predominance of whites has been reflected in the show’s applicants, with more than 80 percent of them white, he said.

For the new contest, Mr. Burnett said, the show reached out to social and church groups to bring in more applicants of different backgrounds. He said the results had been gratifying. “We got so many good people we expanded the number of contestants to 20 instead of the usual 16,” he said.

Both CBS and Mr. Burnett acknowledged that the new format could be criticized. “I know it’s going to be controversial,” he said. “I’m not an idiot.”

In a statement, CBS said it “fully recognizes the controversial nature” of the format change. But it expressed confidence in the program’s ability to handle the situation sensitively.

The change leaves CBS open to charges that it was done to increase the ratings for “Survivor,” which, while still a hit, has had a diminished audience in recent years. In addition, in the new television season, CBS is facing a serious new challenge on Thursdays, the “Survivor” broadcast night. ABC has moved its strongest drama, “Grey’s Anatomy,” to Thursday nights at 9 to oppose CBS’s top show, “CSI.” ABC has also placed its most promising new series, “Ugly Betty,” on Thursday at 8 to compete with “Survivor.”

But Mr. Burnett said he was not making the change as a ratings strategy. “We have hardly been hurting in the ratings,” he said, noting that “Survivor” still attracted about 17 million viewers a week last season.

Instead, he called the move “an interesting social experiment.”

“I don’t think it would be valid in the regular modern world,” Mr. Burnett said. “But this is suddenly a very different playing field. People here are playing for a million dollars. They’re going to want to know if you’re going to vote them out. Or if they’re hungry, they’ll want to know if you know how to catch a fish. They’re not going to care if you’re green or Martian.”

Essay 967

“I don’t want to be younger. I just want to look it.”

Hey, Christie, your teen-chasing hubby isn’t buying that notion.

Essay 966

You don’t have to be fluent in Spanish to understand this ad sucks.

Essay 965

International affairs and foreign concepts in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• A new restaurant in Mumbai, India, has sparked outrage with its name — The Hitler’s Cross. The décor features portraits of the former German leader, along with swastikas and Nazi colors. “We wanted to be different. This is one name that will stay in people’s minds,” said owner Punit Shablok. “We are not promoting Hitler. But we want to tell people we are different in the way he was different.” The restaurant manager added, “This place is not about wars or crimes, but where people come to relax and enjoy a meal.” Entrees are probably baked in Auschwitz ovens.

• A Sudanese writer claiming to have been Osama bin Laden’s captive mistress has penned a memoir that reveals the terrorist leader has a crush on Whitney Houston. The writer said bin Laden joked about knocking off Bobby Brown and inviting Houston into his harem. “He mentioned her constantly, how beautiful she is, what a nice smile, how truly Islamic she is, but just brainwashed by American culture and her husband,” said the memoirist. Um, Whitney’s “brainwashing” can be attributed to foreign substances versus American culture.

Essay 964

Most folks are familiar with the United Negro College Fund. But you probably haven’t heard of the American Indian College Fund. Why does it seem like Native Americans remain on the bottom of the minority totem pole?

Click on the essay title above to learn more.